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Holly and Magnus in “The Restless Snapdragons”

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MAGNUS

Igno-Toramius, album hazardi sumoni…

Holly walks in carrying some flowers.

HOLLY

Magnus!

MAGNUS

Dangit…

HOLLY

Do we have a vase? Or any clean jars?

MAGNUS

Can you wait just two more minutes?

HOLLY

I need to put these flowers in water.

MAGNUS

I think they’ll survive two minutes without water.

HOLLY

They need water or they start getting restless.

MAGNUS

Oh boy.

HOLLY

Who’s the best little long-tooth snapdragons? That’s right, you are!

MAGNUS

You know flowers don’t have ears, right? Or brains?

HOLLY

Of course not. Who needs brains?

MAGNUS

That is an excellent question, Holly! Who does need brains?

HOLLY

Don’t you listen to the mean ol’ human. You are the prettiest and deadliest flowers in the whole western glade, aren’t you?

MAGNUS

(squeaky, mocking voice)

“Why, yes, thank you! Ooo, look how deadly we are! Grr!”

Holly puts the flowers into a jar.

HOLLY

They would like you to know that they don’t appreciate your snide remarks.

MAGNUS

So they can just stick their fingers in their ears. Oh wait…

HOLLY

(to a flower)

What’s that, little buddy? No, I don’t think Magnus wants to eat one of your poison berries.

MAGNUS

Oh help! I’m being bullied by a bunch of flowers in a jar! How will I ever defend myself?

HOLLY

Stop making fun of the babies. Anyway, weren’t you supposed to be gathering stinkweed from the swamp?

MAGNUS

All in good time, my high-flying colleague.

HOLLY

You can only get virgin stinkweed in the dawn’s first light!

MAGNUS

So you say. While you were out there sweating and toiling or whatever, I did some research. Using my brain.

Holly picks up a book from the counter.

HOLLY

Gertrude’s Incantations of Lesser Summoning?

MAGNUS

Yup. It’s a good summer read.

HOLLY

Magnus! Alba specifically forbade you from doing magic!

MAGNUS

She said no spells. This is an incantation.

HOLLY

Um… I’m pretty sure she meant—

MAGNUS

Speaking of which, I was just finishing the incantation before you barged in and interrupted me.

HOLLY

What kind of incantation?

MAGNUS

Well, if you let me finish, you’ll find out! Let’s see. Oh yeah, I just need to clap my hands three times.

HOLLY

No! Magnus, don’t—

He claps three times. A boom shakes the very foundations as a fireball rolls up to the ceiling of the laboratory.

HOLLY

(screams)

MAGNUS

AWESOME.

(coughing)

Okay, maybe a little bigger than I expected.

HOLLY

MAGNUS!

MAGNUS

Look at that! A pile of virgin stinkweed, summoned straight here by the power of magic.

HOLLY

Half of it’s burned to a crisp! And look at my flowers!

MAGNUS

It’s a work in progress. I just need to tweak a few things…

HOLLY

A few things! You don’t have any eyebrows!

Sound of a bunch of flowers pulling themselves out of their jar.

MAGNUS

A small price to pay for science!

HOLLY

Where did my flowers go?

MAGNUS

What the… HEY! GET OFF OF ME! OUCH! Holly! They bite! Your flowers have teeth!

HOLLY

Of course they do! Duh, they’re long-tooth snapdragons. It’s right there in the name.

MAGNUS

GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF ME!

HOLLY

I told you, they get restless! And then you went and set off a fireball.

MAGNUS

Helllp! Holly! Call them off!

HOLLY

All in good time. All in good time.

Magnus runs off into the distance, shouting and crying.