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D7-392

In Episode 1 of The End of Time and Other Bothers, Blat gets a call on the Speechifyer. Here’s what may have happened just prior to that call.

Floor D7, Room 392, Balgem HQ, Downtown Steadfast. Office of the Assistant Manager of Filing and Operations, Central Region.

MITCH

(on the Speechifyer)

Ha! Yeah, that was a great game last night!

CHERYL

(sticks her head into the room)

Mr. Heath? I’m sorry, sir, but there’s—

MITCH

Hold on, Bob.

(covers mouthpiece)

Cheryl, what did I tell you about interrupting me?

CHERYL

I’m sorry, Mr. Heath, but the—

MITCH

I’m sorry? I’M SORRY?! Cheryl, we’ll talk about this AFTER I get off this call.

CHERYL

Yes, sir.

(closes the door)

MITCH

Sorry about that, Bob, just my secretary. Yeah, the centaur. Ha! I know, you warned me. We had to get her a standing desk and everything. Ridiculous. Anyways, you were saying? About next week’s game…

Karen pushes the door open, stepping past the frantic Cheryl.

CHERYL

Ma’am, I’m afraid he’s still on the phone!

KAREN

Really? Are you sure?

Karen presses the disconnect button and sits down on the corner of Mitch’s desk.

MITCH

Hey! What are you—

KAREN

(glancing at his nameplate)

Mitch, is it?

MITCH

Who do you think you are?!

KAREN

My name is Karen Fairweather, Committee of State, Head of Publicity. But you can call me Ma’am.

MITCH

(swallows)

Committee of… Yes, Ma’am.

KAREN

Now, Mitch. I realize you are VERY busy and have a lot of very important calls to make, so I will keep this brief. That’s probably best, yes?

MITCH

No. I mean, yes. Er… yes, Ma’am?

KAREN

Oh good. You are listening. Now, my office is having trouble getting a file from your department. I expect this is just a small oversight as I would hate to assume that Balgem is attempting to block the Committee of State’s requests.

MITCH

No! We would never—

KAREN

Or that your people are incompetent and that we need to … restructure your department.

MITCH

Cheryl! Get me a line to the filing room, stat!

CHERYL

(poking her head into the room)

Sir? You want to speak directly to the file room?

MITCH

Yes, Cheryl. That IS my job.

CHERYL

Um, sure thing, boss. It’ll be on Line 2.

MITCH

So, ah… which file? Ma’am?

KAREN

The findings on the last explosion in downtown Steadfast, if you would just send that over.

(she stands)

Oh, and Mitch?

MITCH

(swallowing)

Ma’am?

KAREN

Don’t make me come over here again. Ever.

MITCH

Yes, Ma’am. I mean, no, Ma’am!

Karen leaves.

CHERYL

(over the Speechifyer)

File room on Line 2, sir.

Mitch punches a button. On the other end, the Speechifyer rings, then is picked up.

BLAT

Hi-diddly-ho! Go for Blat!