Another Farlorian Friday bonus for supporters! In the editing process for Season 2, we had to cut a few scenes from the scripts for length. Here’s one.
INT. HOUSE OF HEALING
OSGARD
Morning, Alba!
ALBA
Holly, Magnus, this is Sir Osgard.
HOLLY
Hi there!
OSGARD
Delighted.
MAGNUS
Sup.
ALBA
Sir Osgard came to us complaining of aphasia and double vision.
OSGARD
I try to say the word “octopus” and it always comes out “octopus”.
MAGNUS
Huh. Any blows to the head recently?
A very soft, muffled rattle.
OSGARD
Yes, a few. Jousting at the tourney last week — fell off my horse — took a good smacking right there.
HOLLY
How’s your appetite been?
OSGARD
Oh, not bad, not bad, although — been having these cravings for octopus.
MAGNUS
Dude, that’s gross.
ALBA
Any ideas? Holly?
HOLLY
We should test for molluskivitis.
ALBA
Ah, but notice… there’s no swelling, and the eyelids aren’t inside out.
HOLLY
Hmmm.
ALBA
Sir Osgard, could you shake your head for us again?
OSGARD
Like this?
The rattle again.
MAGNUS
What’s that?
ALBA
We call it Richmond’s Rattle. Which is a sure sign of…?
MAGNUS
Oh, yeah, of course. That thing… that I can’t remember the name of right now but yeah, I’ve totally seen this.
ALBA
Thought crystals. Mentaliths.
MAGNUS
Yeah! Those! Like brainstones. Right?
ALBA
Similar. Sometimes caused by trauma to the head. Our friend here has a blockage in one of his brain valves. And how do we treat that?
HOLLY
Ooh! I know!
MAGNUS
Hit him on the other side of the head?
HOLLY
A tea made from irksome nettle will help dissolve the crystals.
ALBA
Very good. Magnus, would you be so kind?
MAGNUS
(leaving) Why does it always have to be tea?
ALBA
Thank you, Sir Osgard.
OSGARD
Can’t abide herbal tea. Don’t know why he couldn’t just hit me upside the head.
ALBA
It’s better for everyone this way.