At the urging of Mother Speckley, Eggerton and Darcy set out to help Blat — and find him a changed half-demon.
In case you missed it, check out “Taytha’s Arrival”, the first chapter of a new story, set in Steadfast before the events of The End of Time Episode 1! It’s a bonus available to all our Patreon supporters.
The Peeps This Week:
- GM: Sean Howard
- Blat: Carter Siddall
- Darcy: Marisa King
- Eggerton: Michael Howie
- Story Consultant: Laura Packer
- Game Consultant: Stephen Smith
- Sound Design and Music: Eli McIlveen
Content Warning: Mentions of death and destruction, drug use, minor misgendering, plus the usual shouting and carrying on.
LAST TIME…
Fast-paced music plays.
ANNOUNCER
Last time on The End of Time and Other Bothers:
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
You said you were going to take me with you.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
So take my hand…
SEAN
Everything goes to black. And you see floating, not too far ahead of you, Jill.
SEAN (AS POSSESSED JILL)
I am going to give you both a device to summon a connection to me.
SEAN
There’s an apple coming towards you both.
And you are suddenly standing inside the Academy of the Fallen.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Eggerton? We might be the bad people right now.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Whaaat?
SEAN
And you see this swirling black portal, aand you hear alarms sounding.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Wait, wait, wait!
MARISA
And I pull out the apple.
Click.
SEAN (AS THE SHATTERING)
You summoned me from within the Nexus?
SEAN
There’s an explosion in the hall and you see the roof starting to come down on some of those knights. And then you just see a wave of five of them just disintegrate into dust.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
We have to get out of here!
SEAN (AS LAZBO)
Oh, hi! It’s Lazbo.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Lazbo! How are you?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
It’s okay. How are you?
SEAN (AS LAZBO)
Mother Speckley needs you to come back to the Temple Idries.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Oh, I’m Mother Speckey. You must be Darcy.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I am.
SEAN
And she steps forward, and you see a circle that’s made out of granite. But then it glitches—and you see a familiar looking profile. And beneath Blat, a village on fire.
THE SCRYING POOL
SEAN
We return to Temple Idries. The storm is roaring outside as rain pelts at the side. So much rain and the wind so strong that the tree vibrates with it. It smells of destruction and water that’s been left sitting too long, because the storm has gone on for so many weeks.
And in a room at the centre of this tree stand four individuals in front of a dais that alternates between being stone and being a pool, showing Blat and another world—and other things happening that are almost beyond belief. Eggerton and Darcy stare at the pool.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
That’s a cool pool.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes. Now Darcy, I tried to get you here as quickly as possible. Are there any questions I can answer?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
So many questions… What’s happening with Blat? Have I destroyed the Academy of the Fallen? Is everything over? Has the Shattering taken everything? What’s going to happen to us all?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Do you have anything to eat?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
(groans)
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Blat carries more than one goddess on him. And Blat appears to have made a decision, a decision that may put the entire world, if not realm, if not existence, in danger.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
So you mean his connection with Selene is that dire?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Oh no. He is bonded to someone far older, far more ancient, far more powerful than Selene.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
What? Who?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
I’m sorry but it is a voice I will not speak, certainly not in this temple. Because this temple used to worship this entity.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Oh, Morrigu!
SEAN
Lightning strikes down exploding the ceiling into splinters as rain and wind pours into the room making you all have to speak a little bit louder to be heard.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Nice, Eggerton. Really nice.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
What? All I said was Morrigu!
Another blast of lightning.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No!
(growls)
SEAN
And lightning strikes down sending all of you flying backwards into the walls, sliding across the floor.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Stop saying the M word. Wait, I don’t understand he was serving Selene. How can he be serving the M goddess?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
I’m not sure! It actually escaped my notice, which is quite astounding. That’s very difficult to do until he stood by the scrying pool. And it became immediately apparent that the M goddess is growing in her strength. And I fear the chosen one may have chosen her.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No, Blat wouldn’t do that. Blat already refused her once. He wouldn’t make any kind of promises to her.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
There’s a part of the prophecy, have you heard it?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I don’t…
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
(shouts)
What?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
The prophecy of the fallen? Stanza three?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No, I don’t think so.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Well, let me see if I can get it exactly right. “When the three stand on fields bled blue / and heaven splits the sky in two / one shall rise to claim his throne / and the earth shall be overthrown” I believe.
We didn’t quite understand this stanza until the current turn of events. We believe Blat may be moving towards overthrowing all of existence.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No, no, I don’t believe it. He wouldn’t do that. It must be part of his plan to uh, to get away from Selene. Yeah, surely that must be it?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes, surely.
Wow. You’re being very silent, little one.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I’m just thinking about the horseradish that was on the last sandwich.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Ah yes, back on brand.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I don’t like horseradish. And there was so much of it that I couldn’t really scrape it off.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Eggerton. Did you hear what she said?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, she said they had sandwiches.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No. Blat!
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
What?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Blat has made a promise to this other goddess!
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Morrigu?
Lightning strikes.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Argh!
Theme music plays.
ANNOUNCER
The End of Time and Other Bothers: an improvised fantasy role playing game set in the world of Alba Salix. Your Game Master is Sean Howard, with players Carter Siddall, Marisa King and Michael Howie. Episode 20: The Meeting of the Three.
THE SKY
SEAN
High above in the sky, a figure flies up away from a burning village and is turning towards a certain direction with a determined look on his face.
CARTER
Blat continues flying as fast as he can towards Selene’s castle.
SEAN
And suddenly there is an urge—a demand that Blat knows with every part of his being from this force within him, this unlimited power yet not completely under Blat’s control. And it demands… food from Brenda’s kitchen immediately.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
(in his grim “Blatman” voice)
I didn’t realize that was going to have to eat.
SEAN
A striking pain goes through you.
And we are now onto a part of Blat’s new sheet that I will read, for those of you that didn’t hear that previous discussion about this.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
My tummy is rumbling.
SEAN
So Blat’s new move is: any refusal to do Morrigu’s bidding must involve a Defy Danger Wisdom roll. On a 1 to 6 Blat takes 2 Corruption. On a 7 to 9, Blat can choose to trade one of the Corruption points for damage, a debility or lose a turn. On a 10+, you take no Corruption—you can go your own way.
Blat is starting with 2 corruption and he has a new move which, we’ll wait until it comes up. And at 5 Corruption it gets worse—you get a new move but also more penalties. At 10 Corruption a new move, but a lot more penalties, and a 20… we’ll just say we’re not sure what happens. I’m sure it’s good.
MIKE
(whispers)
I don’t think that’s true.
SEAN
A sharp pain goes through your whole being and you can sense that it is a demand but also that you have the power to fight it.
CARTER (AS BLAT)
I’m hangry.
Laughter.
CARTER (AS BLAT)
All right. I don’t think it would be so bad if I got myself a little something before finally ending this.
CARTER
And Blat flies off in a slightly different direction, towards Brenda’s kitchen.
SEAN
We return to temple Idries, and the four people from before are no longer in the centre. They are in the office off the hallway underneath the altar. And Mother Speckley is ushering them into that room and closing the door, cutting out suddenly the wind and the noise from the central chamber.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Okay, we could rest in here for a minute. To your earlier question Darcy, I’m pretty sure that Blat teaming up with the word we will not say, Eggerton is going to trump anything else, any minor inconvenience that you have brought about.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
It’s just there was a lot of bodies.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
There were.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
You mean, like, a dozen?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, I didn’t really count, but it seemed like everyone was dead and those that weren’t dead were running away from death-like situations.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Screaming. There was screaming.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
There was a lot of screaming. There was clanging, as I recall, and also a general sense of dread. I’m not sure how you measure that in a situation like this, but it was there. And then there was bodies and I saw something through the armour and it was a little unsettling and I’m trying not to think about it again, because it’ll upset my stomach and I don’t really want to do that.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
There was a lot of doom in the air.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, the doom was very present. Very present doom.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Palpable.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Pulp… palpable.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Palpable. Thank you.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
There was even doom pulp.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
There was pulp, yeah.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, it kind of fell and was on the walls. A little sticky.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Yeah.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
That actually might have been blood. But nonetheless, it was pretty bad. And there was a lot of death. I’d say, at least 63, potentially as many as 174. But definitely more than 12.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Those are very exact numbers.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I like to count. So about that sandwich situation. Um—
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I can’t believe I’m saying this. But is there any way you could feed Eggerton? It seems like he can’t focus unless he has something in his stomach.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Sure. I expect that food will not do much to that end, but yes.
SEAN
She pulls open a chest and hands you a pouch.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
We have we have field rations here.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Oh, that’s… nice.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
There you are, you may have that,
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Thank y—they’re kind of dry and I dunno, do you have any relish, perhaps?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Or you could eat what’s in that pouch of yours on your belt?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I could, I just—I’m trying to save some of these because sometimes they you know, save the world.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Right.
Okay. So I brought you both here for a very important reason. I think you caught a glimpse of what’s going on what you saw is only… well, you did not see much before someone decided to say the M word multiple times.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
(whispers)
I think she’s talking about you.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Yes. Yes, of course she is.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
I’m hoping, that because my understanding is the two of you were relatively close with Blat, that you might be able to bring him back.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
We’re on it!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No! We’re not! Where are we supposed to go to? How do we bring him back?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Those are questions that I am also asking. As the leader of this adventure.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Really. You’re the leader.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I am the leader. I have a hat. I don’t have it here. It’s not quite as big as one would think. But I do have a hat. I am the leader. And I—why are you looking at me like that?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Oh, nothing. Your fly is undone and you’ve got something stuck to your shoe.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
No, that’s just some sauce from earlier. It’s okay—there was a lot of horseradish and I was trying everything to get it off because I don’t like that kind of thing. And it wouldn’t come off and then I tried using my shoe. And then there was other stuff on my shoe that got on the sandwich and I couldn’t eat the sandwich—
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
So let’s cut to the chase. I’m pretty sure that Blat has made the decisions that Blat has made because of you two. If I’ve read him correctly, and I’m very good at that, I believe the guilt of the situation has caused him to leap to certain conclusions that may be leading to the end of all existence. And well, to a lesser extent that I’m worried about, the loss of Blat’s soul. So perhaps, because you two are very important and are sort of the crux of the situation, I thought reuniting you with Blat might present some opportunities before he is too far gone.
Now, I have to warn you that the goddess or the old ancient power that he has associated himself with comes with certain… uh, advantages and disadvantages. How are you both with… sort of dark blackness that slowly eats your soul and body all at once?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I don’t care for it.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
That’s just when I have a fairy cake.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Okay, good, because… it’s possible, it may not happen, that Blat may start to show some of these new abilities.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Well, if what you say is true, and he’s been consumed by this darkness, what do we do? How do we stop it?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Well, I’m not really sure. I’m moving very quickly here with not a lot of, you know, final details. This, I believe, right now is part of our best hope. If this fails, I’m sure I’ll come up with something else.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
But Blat had this temple dedicated to Loxsyn. Can’t Loxsyn do anything? Why hasn’t Loxsyn fixed this?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Ah. Well, I don’t believe anyone specifically asked Loxsyn for Loxsyn’s assistance, if I may be so bold, but I can’t say for sure because I am not a goddess of Loxsyn. I am actually in service to the Chosen One. My job is to keep him safe and to, well, stop the end of existence, which I did not foresee really happening until, well, last—a couple nights ago.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
So you’re in service to Blat, even though he’s now in service to this other goddess who we shall not name?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Oh, yes, if Blat completely crosses over, then yes, we will be remain in service to him and help usher in the end of our existence.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
So I have a question. Is the end of existence bigger than the end of time?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
No, they’re pretty similar.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Because we’re already on a mission to stop the end of time.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Perfect! So we’ll just put them both together. And you can do them all at once with Blat.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
But you’re going to give us some like extra resources or cool weapons or something like that. I mean, we’re very capable—
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Or some food rations like you have right there.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, I’m just not sure that those are really gonna go all that far. Because I already ate them.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Oh. Here you go. Here’s two more bags of field rations.
(Sean keeps saying “ray-tions”)
Rations. I’m told that saying “raytions” is a strange thing. But where I come from, we say field “raytions”.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Oh. Okay. That’s strange.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
But again, I’m new to this area.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Apparently you are new. Yes.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes. I’m also your only hope at this point, probably to ever see Blat again, that alone save all of existence, if I’ve plotted this all correctly, so I think a little bit of respect would be nice—
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Okay, well, maybe we’ll be ray-tional about it.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I think—sorry to interrupt—but what Eggerton’s trying to say is that we haven’t been all that successful towards our mission to stop the end of time—
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Oh, I’m aware, yes. I do believe you informed me the second you arrived that you may have destroyed the Nexus, which is the only balancing power against the Shattering.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
That is correct.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
We also may have been betrayed by the person who claimed to be our leader. We’re really not sure where we stand there. And now you’re telling us that our best friend is possibly evil?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
So I think what Eggerton’s trying to ask is, maybe we shouldn’t just be going out there with the satchels on our back and the imaginary hats that he has for himself. Maybe we need something a little stronger, so we can actually win something for once. You know?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
I believe the young lady sitting there is quite good with that bucket by the way in which she is holding that.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Uh, it’s “they.”
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Ah, very good, yes. So perhaps they might be of valued assistance to you.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Well, that’s fine. But I don’t know how many battles Jacklyn has fought in.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Um. Well, I you know, I haven’t really fought in a battle per se, like with knights and all the stuff that I saw in the last thing… but I have taken down quite a few thieves and, and you know, bad people with my… I actually haven’t been in a fight really, until I hit that one in the head.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, they’ve got a good swing on them. Uh, I’m wondering, is there maybe a second bucket?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I left my bucket at the Academy of the Fallen.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
And we can’t even go to the quartermaster for help. Pfillllll-thi-tckkkkt would have been a great asset here but we don’t even have that. What are we going to do?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
(alarmed)
What do you think happened to Pfillllll-thi-tckkkkt?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I bet Pfillllll-thi-tckkkkt just absorbed a whole bunch of the Shattering and made it think about the time that it was in preschool—
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Okay. Okay.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
And learn how to build locks and—
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Okay. Got it. Uh huh.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Excuse me, I’m talking.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
No, you are done talking right now.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay, I’m sorry…
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
I was playing with you. I do not believe any weaponry that I could give you would be at all helpful here. Okay? Your friend is basically embodying one of the most powerful ancient forces in well, existence. So I do not believe you’re going to win this by trying to battle against Blat. Besides, that would also cause harm to him and technically, I’m in service to him so I really couldn’t assist you in doing that. However! You have a bond. I suggest you use that.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
So your strategic advice to us to prevent the end of existence is to hug it out.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
That is your strength.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I mean, I give some pretty solid hugs.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Well, there we go.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
And from time to time, I have been known to fist bump smiles.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
So, fine. If we agree to do this, where do we find Blat? We don’t even know where to start.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Ah, yes. Well. So that is where my plan gets interesting.
BRENDA’S KITCHEN
SEAN
The sun is just beginning to set as Blat circles around a familiar hut in a village he’s been to before. Smoke rises up from a chimney and fills him with such wonderful scents and a warmth that he feels throughout his body. And that is doubled through some other presence that seems satisfied, as he lands and black tendrils filter off him into the air that are slowly dissipating behind him.
And he’s standing in front of the door of Brenda’s soup kitchen.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
(humming)
Blat knocks on the door.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Hello?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Brenda.
I require sustenance.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Is that Frank?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
It is not Frank.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Is it… Michael?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
It is not Michael.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Kevin!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
It is Blathoxil, the destroyer of Selene.
Silence.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
We’re closed!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
You are not closed.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Uh, we are!
MARISA
And Blat just sees the curtain be pulled open a little and just this little sign with CLOSED quickly scrawled on it stuck on to the window and then the curtains close again.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I require your soup, Brenda.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Good night! We will see you later!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I am about to destroy a goddess that has been plaguing this area for some time. You will give me food before the battle. Do you not remember me, Brenda? I wanted you to join the worshipping of the moon.
MARISA
And the door swings open.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
You! You? That scrawny demon? What’s happened to you?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’ve teamed up with someone else to help me on my mission.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
What’s happened to your voice?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
It’s become… sexier.
MIKE
(laughs)
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
I don’t like anyone coming here and just demanding soup as if it was your right to have. I will serve the soup when I want to serve the soup.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’ll take your leftover soup. Whatever you didn’t sell earlier today.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
You seem to have a very bad aura around you. I’m not sure I should be serving you at all.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I have the worst possible aura around me! I demand soup and I will disturb you no longer!
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Okay! So leftovers it is.
Laughter.
MARISA
And Brenda wanders back into the kitchen and brings out a large cauldron of boiled up vegetables in broth and sets it in front of Blat.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’m hoping that whatever this magical soup is might prevent me from…
(clenched teeth)
…transforming any further. What type of soup is this?
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
It is potato leek.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
That should do the trick.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
It is one of my best.
CARTER
And Blat, a half-demon with evil smoky tendrils emanating from his body picks up a spoon, pinky up, and begins devouring cold soup.
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
NO.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
No? You wanted me to come here to eat, and so we eat soup.
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
EAT BRENDA.
MARISA
(gasps softly)
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
…I should have seen that coming.
No, we’re just going to eat soup and then we’re going to—
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
YAAGH! EAT BRENDA!
SEAN
Roll 2d6 +Wisdom.
CARTER
2d6 +Wisdom, which is nothing.
(rolls)
That would be snake eyes.
A sharp intake of breath around the table.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I believe the correct syntax is “Those are snake eyes.”
MARISA
(laughs)
SEAN
Okay. You—I assume you resist.
CARTER
Yes.
SEAN
You resist. You take 2 Corruption.
CARTER
2 Corruption! Oh my.
SEAN
Which puts you where?
CARTER
Which puts me at 4.
SEAN
Ah, one away from your next Corruption level.
CARTER
Yes.
SEAN
Brenda you watch a battle. Blat’s skin seems to ripple and roll as if there’s something larger in there under his skin. And he screams at—you don’t know who, saying “No!” And then it slowly subsides.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Okay, bye-bye now! Hopefully we won’t see you again too soon.
MIKE
(laughs)
MARISA
And Brenda slams the door shut, takes one of those big wooden bars and puts it down behind it. And then you just hear the back door open. And then just this tch-tch-tch-tch… running across and through the village, out the back.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Potato leek is one of her best. You’re just gonna have to be happy with THAAAAT—
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
NEVER. You will not defy me again.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I just need you to do one thing and then I’m getting rid of you.
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
(sinister laughter)
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
We’re flying off to see Celene!
SEAN (AS PAPERBOY)
Hear ye, hear ye! Celine festival in the forest tonight at midnight! Goddess herself will be there!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Well, this is a really large coincidence, but a happy one.
SEAN (AS PAPERBOY)
Oh, here, sir. Would you like a paper?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Yes. Give me your advertisement.
SEAN (AS PAPERBOY)
Oh, that’ll be one half sovereign.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I, um… I have a vampiric medallion. I’ll trade you that for it.
SEAN (AS PAPERBOY)
Sure!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
There you are.
SEAN (AS PAPERBOY)
Here you go!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Thank you. Now LEAVE ME NOW.
The paperboy makes frightened noises as he runs off.
TEMPLE IDRIES
SEAN
We cut back to deep inside Temple Idris. And we see Darcy and Jacklyn and Eggerton, and they’re being dressed up as fairies by three of the women in white robes.
SEAN (AS NUN)
Hold still.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I am a fairy.
SEAN (AS NUN)
I know. Hold still, we’ve gotta make it look right.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
But—no, but it—that’s just what they do. I am a fairy—
SEAN (AS NUN)
Shh, here, look, the ears, we need to make the ears look like this.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
No, they already do! What—why—no! Okay, so look, I’m a fairy. Maybe I’m not the kind of fairy that you like, maybe I’m not really, you know, tiny little waifish that prances about and flies.
SEAN (AS NUN)
Look, I’m just trying to do my job.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
But I’m a fairy and I’m proud of being a fairy. So you need to relax. Go. Go spend time with these tall people. Yeah.
SEAN (AS NUN)
Okay, I’ll just work on Darcy and Jacklyn…
MARISA (AS DARCY)
So—I’m sorry, what’s the plan again?
SEAN
Mother Speckley comes around the corner carrying some books and sets them down.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Right. So if he takes the bait, you’re going to basically be inside the grove at midnight every night until he shows up, and hopefully he will show up there and not the castle.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
And he’s going to show up there because this is Celene’s Moon Festival?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Would it be so bad if we tried to you know, give him the old hug after he defeats Celene?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Well, Eggerton, the longer he stays with the Ancient One inside of him, the more corrupted he will become. It’s very important that we move as quickly as possible.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
But like, three or four hours, I think we could probably spare. I mean, it’s not like it’s corrupting him and he’s going to start taking out, I don’t know, bakers or anything.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Right. No. He would never do that. Okay, Darcy, you’re looking not bad. I, you don’t want to wear any of the costumes?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I’m already a fairy.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Right. Sure you are. Okay. So, uh, we’re gonna get you guys out, we’re going to get you there. Would you like an instrument to play?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yes!
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
There you go.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
An instrument of doom!
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes. So you can have a little drum, or a piccolo.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
(imitating Sean’s peculiar pronunciation)
A peek-alo. I’ll take it.
(plays a melody)
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Okay. Some people, I think you call it a piccolo here?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Piccolo.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yes. I think that sounds more familiar than—what was it you said?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
We call it a Peekalo.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Peek-alo. Peeeekalo.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes, there you go.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
It does sort of sound like that, doesn’t it?
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
It does.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
(plays a few more notes)
Doot do-do-doot-do, peeek-alo. Peeekalo.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
(grimly)
I’ll take the lute.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Here you go.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Peeekalo! You know what, maybe I’ll take the drum. I think a drum would be more fun. Here. Okay, you take the piccolo back, now give me the drum.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Yes. So, uh, best of luck—
Eggerton bangs on his drum.
SEAN
So, best of luck. Any last questions?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
How is this going to help us with Blat and the Ancient One and Celene and end of time and end of existence?
SEAN
Right. Well, let’s just deal with one problem at a time and let’s get Blat back.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Or if you guys would prefer you can go back to finding the end of time, was it?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I dunno, it was a big bother. Let’s just move forward with this plan.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Great.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
How are we getting to the grove?
SEAN
We’re going to teleport you there. So there’s going to be a portal. We’re going to go right outside and one of the Slaad will open the portal for you, right to the grove.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I am genuinely surprised at how many of these old civilizations have teleportation, but we didn’t have it in the time of Boltius. Do you think our wonderful leader had a reason for that? I’m sure there’s a good reason, wasn’t there?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I’m sure there was. I don’t like to question Boltius.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yes. No one does. Long live Boltius.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Long live Boltius.
SEAN
I do hope we get a chance to speak when this is all over. I find this subject fascinating.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Boltius? I’ve got a lot to say about Boltius. He’s really wonderful.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Right.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Did you know that he—
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Let’s open the door, come right out here. Oh, look, there’s the portal.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Okay.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Darcy, I wish there was more I could give you. All I can tell you is your bond is our only hope, with the three of you. There’s no weapon I can give you that can surmount what he has inside him. And it’s going to get worse if we don’t snap him out of this.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
We’ll do our best.
SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)
Very well. And I will send someone to check on the… minor altercation you caused at the Academy of the Fallen.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Great. Are you ready, Jacklyn?
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Yeah.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Okay, bring your bucket.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
I’m never letting go of it.
THE FESTIVAL
Crickets chirp in the distance, along with the sound of fairy chatter and drumming.
SEAN
We cut to the scene of an epic Celene midnight festival with dancing and music… and three individuals sitting in the centre of the clearing.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Wheee. Yay.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I feel like we should probably be dancing or fitting in otherwise,
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
I don’t really dance.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I don’t like dancing.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, see, what you do is you take your left foot… and you put it in.
SEAN
(snickers)
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
You take that left foot. You take it out.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Right.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Then you put your left foot in.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Yeah.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
But this time…
Laughter. Mike cracks up and takes a moment to recover.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
(breathless with laughter)
…you shake it all about.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Shouldn’t we like, be playing music and things so that if Blat comes he hears the festival?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I can’t play the lute!
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Oh.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I can play! Okay, we’re gonna—drum solo!
Eggerton bangs on his drum.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I mean, I’m pretty sure we could start a band
MARISA (AS DARCY)
(tuneless plucking on a lute)
Ting. Ting ting ting.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Well, maybe we should hide so we’re not sitting in the centre?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Well, why are we dressed up as fairies if we’re supposed to hide?
(laughs)
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Again, I’d like to point out that I already am a fairy and I find this whole thing very offensive.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Oh.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
That’s fair.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
That is fair.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Also, you both look much better than you ever have.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Oh, thank you.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I think Eggerton’s right. I think we just have to blend in and do some of the fairy stuff. They seem to be feasting over there and dancing over there and frolicking over here. I’ll go and… do the frolicking.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Okay, I can try frolicking.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Okay, you come with me.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
With my bucket.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Jill, yeah, just keep keep the bucket on the down low.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
It’s Jacklyn.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I thought I said Jacklyn, sorry.
SEAN
Yeah, no. We are going to find Jill, though right?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Welllll…
In the background, Mike cracks up again.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I think so.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
You think so?! I’ve travelled I don’t even know where to, following you!
Mike is still giggling uncontrollably.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
This isn’t funny!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I’m sorry, Jacklyn. I can’t think about Jill right now, because our friend, who I know you haven’t met yet and you know nothing about, is in trouble and we have to help him first and then once we help him, he might be able to help us find Jill.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
I understand.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Also, I think Jill is safe because Jill has been possessed by a great evil, which means—
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Okay, that’s not making me feel better.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
The great evil is not going to do anything to her as long as she’s useful to him.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Okay, you’re really not helping! I’m starting to hyperventilate.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I’m a little worried, because I don’t think this Jill necessarily is all that useful to the Shattering, so—
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Eggerton. Eggerton, you go to the feasting part.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Oh! There’s a feast?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Yeah. Go to the feasting part.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay, you guys stay here and explore the frolicking and get me a report. I’ll be over here examining the the cakes and—are those slooshies?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Okay, Jacklyn, just calm down. We’re going to find Jill.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
(catching their breath)
Okay.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Now, start frolicking.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Yeah. Yeah, look at me frolic.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Yaaay, this is… woo hoo hoo, it’s so much—
SEAN
A shadow passes over the clearing, lit up by the moon, and circles above.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
(whispering)
That’s him. That’s Blat.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
(whispering)
Where?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Up there.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Which of the—that fairy there?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No, look above! The wings! That’s Blat. That’s our friend.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Oh.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
(aloud)
Just keep frolicking. Hee hee hee! Hoo hoo hoo!
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Yay.
SEAN
Blat, you see a gathering with what looks like a festival. Maybe 20 or 30 fairies doing dances.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Blat scans the area, looking to see if Celene is there.
SEAN
Do you want to roll Discern Reality?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
(rolling; mutters)
Discern Reality. I either see her, or I don’t. And I’m rolling—
SEAN
You don’t see her. I don’t think you have to roll.
Laughter.
CARTER
I rolled a 9.
SEAN
You’re only looking for Celene. You don’t need to roll. You do not see Celene. But she is often about, you know, the late big entrance.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Right.
SEAN
Naked.
CARTER
I know.
So Blat just continues to circle and circle and circle, waiting to see if anyone that looks like Celene shows up, because Blat does not feel that he’ll be able to blend in very well. If he should land.
SEAN
Yep. And that’s all you’re doing, just waiting for Celene?
CARTER
Just waiting for Celene.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
(gasps)
Oh, look! Look. Darcy. Darcy. Do you see up there? It’s Blat!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Yeah, I know. I saw, but he just keeps circling. He won’t land.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, let’s call him down!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Well, I don’t know if we should do that. If he’s—no!
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Blat! Hey Blat!
Laughter.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
I guess we’re calling him down?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Eggerton. What if he’s in his possessed state and he just, you know, kills us.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, then we won’t have to worry about it any more!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Oh, boy.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Blat! Down here!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Stop it!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
…Of course.
CARTER
And Blat slowly waves, while still circling.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
See, he knows it’s us!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Okay, well, get him to come down here.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay. Okay. I’ve been thinking about the best way to do this. Okay. I got—okay, ready? In-depth strategy.
Hey, Blat! C’mere! I want to show you a thing!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Is Celene with you?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Uh…. sure!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Ask him if he has a cold.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Do you have a cold?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I have more power coursing through my body than I ever thought possible.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Oh.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Sounds like it might be a virus.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Okay, um…
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
I thought he was your friend?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Well, there seems to be some extenuating circumstances. Jacklyn, you and I are going to say and over here. I don’t think he’s recognised me yet. Because you know, I look like a fairy.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
You look really good with those ears.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Well, thank you.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
I mean, I’m a one woman person, but—
MARISA (AS DARCY)
It’s fine. I don’t mind. And we’ll just see what happens when he comes and talks to Eggerton. And if he rips him apart, that will give us some information.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
What was that?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Because right now, I’d like to rip you apart.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
But I thought Eggerton was your friend.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Sometimes. Okay…
MIKE
(laughs)
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
I understand that, actually.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Eggerton. You gotta get Blat to come down. Any way you can. You know, pretend you’re in trouble or—hey, I have something even better. Pretend you see Celene or something. He’s probably looking for her, right?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Oh, yeah, that’s a good idea.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Pretend you’re having a conversation with her or something Okay, we’ll be over here.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay, you go hide over there, I’ll just—okay.
(loudly)
So, Celene! I it’s nice to see you… naked again. With your nakedness.
I see you have breasts. Those are nice.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Eggerton.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
What? Yeah? Oh, hi, Blat!.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
You’re speaking to a tree. I know you’re lying.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Lying’s a strong word—why don’t you just come down? We’ll talk it out. Come on! Come on down!
Come on. Come on.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Blathoxil hangs his head and comes down for a landing.
MIDROLL
ANNOUNCER
It’s the beginning of the middle of The End of Time and Other Bothers.
SEAN
Hey everyone. Sean here and you’re gonna hear a little bit of noise because I am speaking into my jacket in Baltimore airport. We are on our way to PodFest in Orlando. If you’re going to be at PodFest and you’re listening this—because it’ll be coming out right as PodFest is happening—be sure to find me. I’ll be giving out some special little things to anyone who finds me!
This has been such an amazing month, and we can’t thank you all enough for your support. So I want to give a couple shout outs to some of our new subscribers that have joined since our last episode. That’s crazy. So want to give a giant shout out to Hallie Casey, DJ Sylvis of Moonbase Theta, Out—loving that show—Evelyn Jones, Rachel Deale, Rye Bearg—not sure how to pronounce that—and Christian H.
Thank you so much to all of you, and let’s give a shout out to some of the old timers. That’s really not a cool way of saying that, is that? The originals, the been supporting us forever. So let’s give a giant shout of love out to Sara Henry, Taylor Wilton, and Kelly Quinn. Thank you all so much. And we’re going to continue working through the backlog and getting a shout out to all of you.
Last thing. I hope you all saw that this last Farlorian Friday, Eli did something amazing, like, blew me away. So many people have been asking about the history of Balgomar, and if we’re ever going to go back to Steadfast. Well, there’s a new story starting and it’s starting in Steadfast. And Eli is writing it, it’s called “Taytha’s Arrival”, it’s super amazing, blew me away. We’ll make sure to put a link in the show notes. That’s a Farlorian Friday, so again, every Friday we give something away to say thank you to all of you for being supporters and being with us on this journey.
And I’m going to stop being a weirdo and talking into my jacket now and I can’t wait to get more shows out into all of your ears. Talk to you all soon.
MIDROLL: BLAT FIGHTS BACK
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
Hey, pipsqueak.
CARTER (AS BLAT)
Yes, hello?
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
Hey, you’re sitting on my sand.
CARTER (AS BLAT)
Oh, actually, this is public sand. It’s a public beach, so the sand is for all. There’s some lovely sand you can sit on over there—
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
I don’t think you heard me.
CARTER (AS BLAT)
Eh?
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
You’re sitting on my sand. This is where me and my friends—right boys?
MIKE AND MARISA (AS OTHER BULLIES)
Yeah.
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
This is where we sit. Right where your little skinny ass is right now.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Ohhhh. I see. Due to my weakness. I’m going to have to abandon this beach because you’re larger than me. Oh, if there was only a product, a device, a way of thinking that could help me seek revenge!
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
BLAAAAT.
CARTER (AS BLAT)
Hello? Yes?
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
I am Morrigu.
I will give you ultimate power and strength and Necrotic Touch that kills and dismembers everything it goes near.
CARTER (AS BLAT)
Well, let’s see. That does sound tempting. Oh, what the heck…
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
I told you, move it along!
CARTER (AS BLAT)
I’ve gambled the cost of a stamp. read up on Morrigu…
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
…and now this beach is for all.
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
Hey… you’re so big.
MIKE (AS A BULLY)
Why does he got those octopus legs?
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, weirdo. Whoa! Hey, I don’t—
MIKE (AS A BULLY)
It’s cool. Cool cool.
SEAN (AS A RANDOM BULLY)
I don’t think we had any problem with you—
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
NECROTIC TOUCH.
The bullies scream.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
And now the beach is filled with darkness.
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
You can have more of this if you go to otherbothers.com, click the link to Patreon, then fill out the fields and then give us your soul.
MIKE
(also in a hissing, Morrigu-like voice)
Or you can just go… and… nope, I don’t have anything.
Laughter.
THE FESTIVAL
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
There he is! How you been, Blat?
SEAN
When Blat hits the ground, tendrils of blackness flow off him and hit the ground almost like exhaust and then slowly dissipate. And he stands and he is broader of shoulder and thicker in stature.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I knew you’d hit puberty sooner or later.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
How in God’s name are you here?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, it’s a long story. Remember the time we were going to save time?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I do recall that, yes.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
We’re not doing that anymore. Now we’re all about existence.
Laughter.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
It’s kind of a lateral move, but I feel like there’s a bit of a promotion as well. Maybe we’ll have better merch as a result.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I know that my existence will be better once I take out Celene.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Oh, I think everybody’s existence will be better. But hey, it’s been a while. Come on in for a hug.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I can’t hug you.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Come on, give me a hug.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I can’t hug you.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I feel like “can’t” and “won’t” are getting a little conflated here. So just come in for a hug. Bring it in for a hug—
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’m possessed by an ancient evil. I can’t hug you.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, maybe you need to hug me because you’re possessed by an ancient evil.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I have a voice screaming inside my brain that I should kill everyone in this field.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, that happens to me too. And then I have some fairy cakes and I feel better—oh you want a fairy cake?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I do not require a fairy cake.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Because you know what? Snegal made one special for you and you didn’t come back and he was very sad. But I still got it here. It’s got peppercorns like you like.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Give me the fairy cake.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay! Here you go, buddy. Munch on that.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Look, Jacklyn, he’s taking the fairy cake. That’s it. That’s a good sign. Blat likes Eggerton’s fairy cakes.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
He doesn’t look very happy though.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
He looks a little frightening, it’s true. But let’s just watch a little more. Just be ready with your bucket. We might need it.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Okay. Against a demon?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Mm, sometimes it works.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay, so remember, just pop the whole thing in your mouth there.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I remember how to eat.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
’Kay, because it sounds like you forgot how to talk. So I just didn’t know where the line was. And I’m here, I’m supporting you as a friend. I want to lift you up. I want to be the wind beneath your wings! I—um, ok,ay so you’re you’re salivating and looking at me a bit, that’s unsettling. Just have the fairy cake.
CARTER
Blat opens his mouth far wider than he should be able to.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay, that’s unsettling.
CARTER
And places the fairy cake on his tongue and then snaps it quickly closed, like an alligator.
SEAN
Now, you gave him the one Snegal made?
MIKE
Mm hmm.
SEAN
Okay, roll for Friend Song.
MIKE
Okay, rolling for Friend Song! That is an 8.
SEAN
So I need you to tell—we need to come up with what the debility is that Blat is now feeling, because you wrote a partial success.
MIKE
Stoned.
SEAN
Okay. Blat, you’re starting to feel a little, I dunno, a little warm, and then a little tingly. And then everything’s sort of funny, and you’re starting to get the munchies pretty quick. This is a pretty heavy edible. And you start to remember—
(in Snegal’s Muppet-like voice)
The friend sooong, singing the friend song. You can almost feel Snegal brushing his hands through your hair. The friend sooong…
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Nothing happened between me and Snegal. You know that, right?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, no, I, yes! There are no rumours. The knights did not have a drawing in the bathroom. Nope, I don’t know—but I don’t judge. I’m your friend. And I know how you feel about me. So I won’t let that interfere.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’m feeling surprisingly mellow.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, you know, sometimes the fairy cakes do that. What we should really do though, is see if we can find some entertainment like to someone painting happy little trees or something to watch for a bit. That’d be super fun right now.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’m going to wait here. When I see Celene, I’m calling my soul-bound weapon and then I’m going to blow her head off.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, that sounds like fun. But you know what we should do first? We should hug it out. We should hug it out.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I have tendrils coming off me. We can’t hug it out.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, we can hug it out, and I mean, if they get a little hand—or tendrilly, I guess? I won’t be offended. I mean, we’ll see what happens…
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Well, hey! Look who it isn’t!
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Now? Now with the bucket?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Just get over here. Keep quiet. You don’t have to do anything yet.
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Okay.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
It’s me. It’s me! It’s Darcy!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
You’re a fairy that looks like Darcy.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No, no, I’m Darcy. I’m just dressed up as a fairy to blend in with the other fairies.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Uh, so, he had a fairy cake, and he may genuinely think that you’re a fairy that looks like Darcy right now. And that’s probably a good thing.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
You just can’t provide the appropriate baked goods anymore, can you?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I provide an experience. How people manage that experience is not on me. They sign a waiver—or I thought about having them sign a waiver once—
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Yeah, I’ve never seen them sign one.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
But you know, it’s—it’s okay.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
But that’s beside the point. Blat! How are you? It’s me, Darcy. I missed you! Uh… how’s Celene?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’m under Celene’s thrall. I’m also under the thrall of Morrigu.
SEAN
Nothing happens when he says the word.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Oh, so he can say Morrigu!
SEAN
And lightning comes out of nowhere in the sky. And in that moment you realize all the fairies, Blat, are an illusion. It is just the four of you standing in an empty field—and then the lightning is gone. You see the festival happening around you.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
This is a trap.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No—
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Trap has some negative connotations.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No. There’s no trap.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
This is too much of a coincidence.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Quick! Hug!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Yes, quick! Grab him!
MARISA
And I throw my arms around Blat.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Eggerton dives and grabs a leg and hugs it.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Unghhh! Feels so good to have you back, Blat!
SEAN
(laughing)
Blat, you are being hugged. I don’t believe there’s a roll for this.
MIKE
Roll for hugs.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Just sending you a lot of positive energy, Blat!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
You have to let go of me. I’m gonna have to fly to Celene’s castle so I can finish this.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No! Blat. Blat, I don’t think you need to do that. Blat, I didn’t want to bring this up, I know it’s awkward, but… Remember, you talked about some feelings for me? Don’t you think that deep down if you go back to those feelings that you’d find a warmth and a love down there that that might actually negate all this, uh, dark energy you seem to be carrying around, huh? Hey? Blat? Me? Darcy?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Don’t you even know why I’m doing this?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Uhhhh…
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I agreed to join up with not one evil goddess, but two, so that I could protect you, and this fairy cake-sucking maroon.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Now that was uncalled for, Blat.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I have to end this so I can protect the two of you.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
And maybe the two of you can then save time.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No, Blat, you don’t understand. If you go down this path, I don’t think any of us can save anything! It’s going to be really bad, and we just need to stop and come back with us to the Academy of the Fallen, and we’ll figure out what’s going on with you, and maybe we can get some help, and then we’ll save time together. And by the way—
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Now with the bucket?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No! Stop with the bucket.
And, uh, and they need help with finding their friend Jill. And you can help us with that. It’ll be like the old times. Right Eggerton? Right, Eggsy?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, just like old times when you were in the void and said you loved me.
Ominous music.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
You know what would really help you? If I get all the fairies that worship Celine…
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
Yesss…
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
And then all the Slaad that are now worshipping Loxsyn…
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
Yes…
MARISA
So I take my amulet and I press it against Blat, and I say,
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Loxsyn! Goddess Loxsyn! Please, please help me!
SEAN
Darcy’s amulet lights up with a blinding glow.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I could get them to help you save time.
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
Yes, you may do it all. All my power is yours. All of existence will bow to you.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I don’t need all of existence. I just need Celene.
CARTER
And Blat takes off.
SEAN
So Blat, you’re being held by Darcy, and Eggerton on a leg. So I need Darcy—I need all three of you to make a Strength roll. +Strength. If you have a bonus, you add that.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
That’s a 5.
SEAN
Way to go, Eggerton
MARISA
8.
SEAN
So partial success for Darcy.
CARTER
6.
SEAN
No Strength bonus?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Nope. None.
SEAN
Okay. You attempt, kicking free of Eggerton…
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Whoa!
SEAN
But Darcy doesn’t let go and she’s wrapped around your wings. You are not able to lift off. And her amulet is glowing so strong. It’s burning against you.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Jacklyn! Now! Now! Hit him with the bucket! Hit him with the bucket!
SEAN
What do you do? You sense Jacklyn moving forward suddenly.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I turn and move Darcy towards Jacklyn.
SEAN
She’s still around you and you failed the Strength roll. So you want to put her between you two?
CARTER
Yeah.
SEAN
Okay. So you spin around—Darcy, roll Defy Danger, and Blat, roll Defy Danger.
MARISA
I have a—would that be a Dex?
SEAN
Yep.
MARISA
So 8.
SEAN
Okay. It’s a partial success.
MARISA
I have a 10.
SEAN
That’s a success.
So you basically take the bucket to your shoulder. Darcy, your choice is, you can let go at the last second when you realize you’re about to be hit, and take no damage, or you can stay holding on but you’re going to take damage.
MARISA
No, I stay holding on.
SEAN
Can you a four-sided die for me?
MIKE
(hums, rolling)
Four-sided die… 3.
SEAN
You take 3 damage.
MARISA
Come on!
MIKE
Sorry.
SEAN
So Darcy takes a bucket right to her shoulder with a horrible, horrible sound. And Jacklyn’s like,
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Oh, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No! You’re supposed to hit him!
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
I know!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
We have to stop him.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Bucket girl. Get her off me.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Don’t hurt them, Blat. They have nothing to do with this. Just calm down, and why don’t we talk about this? Why? Why don’t we just talk about this? Why do you have to kill Celene?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Because she’ll never stop.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
We can find a way to make her stop! Maybe we have to kill Celene.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I have questions about that!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Well, you’re not helping much, Eggerton!
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay, okay, so—
MARISA (AS DARCY)
We have to stop Blat.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Uh, first of all, I feel that killing is something that should be discussed as a group beforehand!
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Yeah. Okay. Well, we’ll let’s talk about it as a group.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Okay. Okay.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Maybe we all go together.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
And speaking of together… bring it in for another hug, buddy!
SEAN (AS JACKLYN)
Okay, you guys are really weird with your hugs. He’s… okay.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
But you see, hugs are a sign of love and love always defeats darkness. Right, Blat?
CARTER (AS BLAT)
Morrigu.
SEAN
You just sense the presence, Blat, all within you, growing.
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
You can destroy them.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Say it, Eggerton. What’s the name of the being inside of me?
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Well, that’s kind of personal. Um, I mean—
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Don’t say it!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
It starts with an M.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Is it Snegal?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Because I mean, I don’t believe what the knights wrote on the wall…
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
M. It starts with an M.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Is it… Moooooourrrnful?
MARISA (AS DARCY)
No! Stop it! Would you just stop it? He’s trying to bait you.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
He’s trying to bait—why would he bait me? I’m not—
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Because! He’s not the Blat we know!
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
Yeah, he is! Watch. I’ll tickle him right here.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
I wouldn’t—okay.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
“Morrigu”. Say it. Say “Morrigu”.
MIKE (AS EGGERTON)
I… I feel like that’s not okay now.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’ll let you come in and take a big old hug if you just say the word “Morrigu”.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
What about this? What if I say… Loxsyn!
MARISA
And I take my amulet and I press it against his skin.
SEAN
It sears into you. Do you let her do it?
CARTER
No.
SEAN
Okay. Roll Defy Danger.
CARTER
6!
SEAN
You raise your arms and she slams it right into the centre of your chest over your heart. And you feel a pain unlike anything you’ve ever felt. Worse than a misplaced file—it flashes you back to your future, your filing room, all your memories…
And all of time stops.
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
Get out of my friend! Get out of my friend!
SEAN
Darcy freezes right there. Eggerton is frozen hugging your lower calf. And Jacklyn is frozen winding up for another crack with the bucket.
And you sense a presence. Morrigu recoils and then surges you forward as if to attack. And it’s a presence you’ve felt before: someone in a robe with glowing white light. And you get the sense that she’s female somehow, and stepping forward towards you, to meet Morrigu as the darkness surges forward to meet her.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
We’re fighting the wrong goddess. We want Celene, not Loxsyn.
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
I will have them all with you. We will own them all.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
First Celene, then we talk.
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
There is no talking. You will destroy them all. We will rule all gods. We will be the gods.
SEAN
Rolling 2d6. You are defying correct? Ohhhh!
CARTER
6!
SEAN
So you take 2 [Corruption]. I believe that moves you up.
CARTER
Yep.
SEAN
You are at 6.
CARTER
Mm hmm.
SEAN
Would you like to really quickly just for us read your new thing?
CARTER
“Blat gains a ‑1 on all rolls that do not put Morrigu’s will first. He must still roll as above for any refusal to do her bidding, and he also gains the following move: Necrotic Tendrils! As you move, you leave behind small wisps of black swirling smoke. These form into tendrils at your beckoning and strike out at up to three creatures within 30 feet of you.”
SEAN
So tendrils launch out of you. And you see the goddess in front of you raise her hand and the tendrils freeze.
SEAN (AS LOXSYN)
(softly)
Oh, not yet. I do believe you have still granted the place of power to me. Is that correct, Chosen One?
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Yes.
SEAN
She steps forward, very close to you.
SEAN (AS LOXSYN)
You lied earlier. You said you are in service to two gods.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
I’m in service of one.
SEAN (AS LOXSYN)
No, no, no.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
And temporarily using another.
SEAN (AS LOXSYN)
(chuckles sadly)
Oh, Blathoxil. You are in service to three goddesses. Three powers. And you will be torn apart. You will not survive this.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Just point me towards Celene.
SEAN (AS LOXSYN)
Very well, if that is your choice. But I will grant you one thing. You may have temporary control, allowing you a chance to harness this power to do that which you wish to do. But even that will not stop your destruction if you go too far in service to Morrigu.
Or… you may return everything to as it was. And live out your last few days at the end of time, oblivious to all of this, and just disappear when time ends.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Sometimes a man can’t go back to his filing room.
SEAN (AS LOXSYN)
Very well.
Remember, I’m here too.
SEAN
And time returns and you catch a glimpse, Darcy, of a form standing almost nose to nose with Blat and then it’s gone as your amulet dims. But there is still a mark as you pull the amulet away off his chest. There’s a mark—not matching the amulet, but of Loxsyn, on his chest.
And you hear a screaming, Blat, like a million voices screaming, and they’re somewhat removed and distant—
SEAN (AS MORRIGU)
We will break through! You will bow again to us!
SEAN
And it is looping and continuing but it is a little more distant than the voice was before.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Well. Pitter patter. Let’s get her at her.
SEAN
And Darcy still has her arms wrapped around you.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Blat! Don’t go. I’m begging you, don’t do this thing. It’s going to end in so much pain and misery!
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
Darcy, I do love you. But I have to do this.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
If you love me, you wouldn’t do this. You would fight this power within you. And you’d just come back to us.
CARTER (AS BLATHOXIL)
But this power within me is the only thing that’s going to keep you and this idiot safe.
Just let me go and I’ll come back. I promise I’ll try to come back.
MARISA (AS DARCY)
Then… go.
MARISA
And I let go of him.
CARTER
And Blathoxil launches off into the sky towards Celene’s castle.
CREDITS
Theme music plays.
ANNOUNCER
The End of Time and Other Bothers: an improvised fantasy role‐playing game set in the world of Alba Salix.
Your Game Master is Sean Howard, with players Michael Howie, Marisa King and Carter Siddall.
Dialogue editing and transcription by Michael Howie.
Additional material and sound design by Eli McIlveen.
Story consultant: Laura Packer.
Game consultant: Stephen Smith.
If you enjoy the show, check out our Patreon. Supporters get early access to episodes, weekly bonus content, and an invite to our wonderful fan community on Discord. Look for the Patreon link at OtherBothers.com.
OUTTAKE
MARISA (AS BRENDA)
(drifting into a New York accent)
Listen. I don’t like anyone coming here and demand…
Laughter.
MARISA
I hate you so much.
(laughing)
I can’t do this accent without practice.