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45: What Comes Around

The party try to come to terms with their new place in history – and history isn’t done with them yet.

The Peeps This Week:

Content Warning: freakin’ out, fantasy racism, climate change and time trauma.

PREVIOUSLY…

Fast-paced music plays.

ANNOUNCER

Previously on The End of Time and Other Bothers:

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

I’m not a Slaad! I just made a meagre existence delivering bread to people. Why am I trapped in a snow globe?

SEAN

And the glass of the globe fractures.

SEAN (AS STAN THE ZOMBIE KING)

Ah, Eggsy! Hey, I see you got the tree.

MIKE (AS EGGERTON)

Yeah, we did get the tree and it’s growing…

SEAN (AS STAN)

You’re gonna be happy to know that, uh, turns out you have the key, Eggsy.

MIKE (AS EGGERTON)

I‑I’m the key?

SEAN

Another figure steps out of the portal and it looks an awful lot like the goddess Celene.

SEAN (AS STAN)

I’m afraid I’m gonna have to leave you with my associates. They’re gonna take care of business.

SEAN

The zombies charge forward.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Climb onto the tree, Eggerton!

SEAN

And a phalanx of demon centurions launch into the air…

MARISA (AS DARCY)

All right, I didn’t want to have to do this!

SEAN

Darcy transforms into a massive bird.

MARISA (AS ROC-DARCY)

(screeches)

SEAN

Blat, you have a decapitated zombie that is sawing at your side.

SEAN (AS MORRIGU)

(whispers)

I can fix this. I can fix it all.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

It’s Morrigu! You gotta resist!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Find another patsy, Felicia! I’m done playing your game.

SEAN

Eggerton falls back back, back, back, back…!—and goes all the way off the other edge of the tree branch.

MIKE (AS EGGERTON)

Well, it’s just you and me again, gravity.

SEAN

You’re flapping your little wings… when you hit the ground.

AFTER THE FALL

Dreamy, wistful music, in the style of Stereolab.

SEAN

The great tree, Temple Idris, rises high above the desert, standing out quite lushly against endless dunes, far into the sky above… as we see a giant bird, a roc, settling down over a piece of the sand.

Blat approaches and kneels, and the Slaad and Mother Speckley come running over.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I… I thought he should be here. I thought he landed in this spot. He fell from quite a distance. I just assumed he’d be here.

Well… he wandered off somewhere. That’s good! That’s good news. He must have crawled or even walked. I… don’t see any tracks.

Was it windy? With everything that’s going on, I don’t remember if it was windy or not. I…

MARISA (AS DARCY)

(mournful squawk)

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Well, I don’t think anyone could survive a fall like that, Blat…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

It’s from quite a distance, but if he didn’t survive, then he’d be here. He’d be here and we’d be able to…

All right, it’s sand. So…

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Maybe we should dig.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

We should dig! We should dig. Yeah, yeah. Everyone just get down here and just start digging. We’ll just clear this area and uh… we should find him.

But if we don’t, that means that he got away somehow. He left. We weren’t in any immediate danger. The demons and the zombies were taken care of. So if we don’t find him, it’s good. Then he’s fine.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Blat, why don’t you let us dig?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Yes, all right. You dig…

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

You should rest.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Dennis can dig. I…

Oh, that’s quite cut across my side. The zombie really did a number on me with that saw.

If you don’t find him, it’s good. If you don’t… If you don’t find him, it’s okay.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

We… I’m afraid we… we found a shoe.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

No, a shoe… a shoe is okay. He just… blasted out of his shoe. That’s… that’s all right. We’ve done that before. Adventuring’s a nasty business.

But there’s nothing in the shoe?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Well… there is something in the shoe.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

What’s in the shoe?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

A tiny Eggerton!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(squeaky voice)

Hi guys!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

What the what?!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I got small and fell in my shoe!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Okay, why would you hold on to that information? Why wouldn’t you tell me right away that there was a tiny Eggerton?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Are you mad at me or are you mad at them? I can’t really tell—

CARTER (AS BLAT)

We’re getting to you in a second! Just tell me there’s a tiny Eggerton in a shoe—

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

There’s a tiny Eggerton in a…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Not you!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I’m sorry.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

You just paused for dramatic effect for really no reason whatsoever. Just tell me there’s a tiny Eggerton in a shoe. Jerky move, Slaad. Jer-ky move.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

There’s an Eggerton in the shoe.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I know that now!

Theme music plays.

ANNOUNCER

The End of Time and Other Bothers: an improvised fantasy role-playing game set in the world of Alba Salix. Your Game Master is Sean Howard, with players Marisa King, Michael Howie, and Carter Siddall.

Episode 45: What Comes Around.

A TINY EGGERTON

SEAN

Okay, so for everyone trying to figure out what happens, let’s just recap really quick for people. Because last episode, Eggerton, when you rolled for if your magic happens…

MIKE

I rolled a 2.

SEAN

You rolled a 2. And we explained earlier in the episode that in Trouble with Magic, this new thing we’re doing, you need a 9, 10, 11, or 12 for your magic to work. So it didn’t. You were just…

MIKE

Yeah.

SEAN

So we just assumed you would hit… We all assumed you hit the ground from a mile up.

MIKE

Yup. Nothing happened.

SEAN

And we assumed that was it. There’s no way to survive a mile up fall.

However, on a 2 or a 3, as we explained earlier in the episode, the magic works, but in a wild and insanely powerful or unexpected way. So yes, we now have a tiny Eggerton.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Hello.

SEAN

Okay. We cut to inside the Temple Idris, the giant tree, which is now healing. The gaps and dead branches are now birthing new foliage and birds are starting already to flock high up in the tree. And inside you see the beginning of an altar. You see it all reforming as you first found it.

And we find the entire party sitting on a bench, as some Slaad go back and forth running errands. And they seem to be waiting for Mother Speckley.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

So… We did it! We actually created something that we later visit thousands of years from now. And the only problem is… that there are now zombie gangsters after us, a couple of evil goddesses, and one of our party is now the size of half a pencil.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

So… he’s just like that. In the shoe. You just found him there in his own shoe, just tiny.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

(lowers his voice)

Well, what’s a little embarrassing is that we actually found the rest of his clothes, like scattered off a few feet away. So not only is he very small, but also completely nude.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I can hear you still! I’m small, but I can hear.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, here’s like a little leaf. Maybe we could just give him that to wrap around himself.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Oh, how rustic! Wonderful.

Okay, buddy. We’ve got a new outfit for you!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Ooh, okay. Let me wrap it around like this… Here, can you just poke a little hole and then I’ll take the stem of the leaf and put it through and it cinches. Where’s my hat?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

No, no, no!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I’ve got an acorn. We could take the top off it.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

No, no, no, no. Just a second. Just a second. I want to do this.

Eggsy?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yes?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

We can give you your hat. Here you go!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yep yep yep!

CARTER

And Blat puts the hat over the entire shoe.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(muffled noises of protest)

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I’m sorry?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(muffled noises)

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I’m sorry, you’ll have to speak up. You’re having problems with enunciation.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(insistent mumbling)

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I’ll pick the hat up. That’ll make it easier.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

What’s going on? Why is the hat so big? I need a normal hat.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

This is a normal hat, buddy.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

This is not a normal hat. None of this is normal and I want answers.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I do have an acorn top, I just think—

CARTER (AS BLAT)

All right, give him the acorn top. Maybe that’ll shut him up.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay, I’ll take it off, here. It’s a little heavy maybe for his little body.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oof! Ugh! I’ll get used to it. It’s just… squishing my neck a bit.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

It looks quite fetching with the leaf.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Thank you, thank you.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

It’s like a whole theme, you know?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yes. It’s nature chic.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot! Mother Speckley asked me to bring you down to her chamber under the… well, I guess you know where it is, Darcy.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Where you had the incident with one of our brethren.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yeah, that’s when you went down there and turned into a weird beast and killed someone really bad.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

We don’t like to say it that way. We like to say that she was working through her issues.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

But what’s nice is that that hasn’t happened yet.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oooh!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

And won’t happen for several millennia.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Or has it already happened?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

But…

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

And now it’s going to happen again in several millennia.

Silence.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Okay! Let’s see inside.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I’m very confused. Okay, just come with me. I’ll take you down.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, someone, someone, someone! I need help!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

(sighs)

Picking up a shoe… Oh look, it’s like you’re in a boat!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Row, row, row your boat…

SEAN

As you step under the altar, it’s like you hit a wall, Blat. A wall of darkness where you just have to push through molasses. And you just feel Morrigu all around you, whispering in your ears.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I’m sorry, is anyone else finding it rather torturous on their brain stem to continue entering the tree?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Oh please, Eggerton’s not that heavy.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

No, it’s not Eggerton and the shoe. It’s just… I thought that this was… a happy place?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, it’s a happy place. Look at all the Slaad. They look pretty happy.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Yeah, but remember what the Slaad told us? Uh, sorry, what the Slaad will tell us millennia from now?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Will have told us.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Will have told us—ohhh, my brain hurts more. Okay.

SEAN (AS MORRIGU)

You will break to me. It’s already happened.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Shut up, shut up you. I’m trying to talk.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

What, what? What did you say to me?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

That, no, that wasn’t to you. It’s just…

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Who are you talking to, Blat?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Morrigu, okay? I’m talking to Morrigu—

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

You hear lightning strike somewhere outside.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

All right, heh, I forgot that that happened. M‑word. The M‑word? This place is a site for worshipping M‑word, and then afterwards we changed it to worshipping someone not quite so terrible.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Are you saying this is happening again? Is Morrigu talking to you?

SEAN

You hear lightning again.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Oh, I thought it was just when you said it.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

No, remember? None of us can say Morrigu.

SEAN

The tree shakes. Slaad starts running around yelling.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay, we have to tell Mother Speckley about this. Only she can help us, I think.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Well, why don’t you go ahead with this shoe denizen and tell Mother Speckley, and I’m just going to lie here on the floor and pretend that my head’s not about to split open.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay. Uh, Lazbo?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Yes?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Can you make sure nothing happens to Blat? Like, if you see some black tendrils or something surrounding him, maybe you should come—

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Not again?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, exactly. Maybe you should come get us if that happens.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay, well, her door is right there. I’ll stay here with Blat.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

You stay here with Blat.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Would you like some mustard?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

You’ve already started the mustard production?!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

If there’s mustard going around, I’ll take three sandwiches.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay, I don’t know if you can fit them all in your shoe.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh, they’ll fit.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay, I’m going to take Eeny Meeny Eggerton and go and see Mother Speckley.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

We’ll be right here.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I’ll be spooning mustard into his mouth.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Not too much mustard. Maybe make a poultice of it. I know he’s pretty hurt. I think that could help him out.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oh, yes, we can do that. Okay.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, okay, all right.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Helen! And Helen! And Helen! And Helen! And Helen! And Helen! Bring the poultice!

MARISA (AS A HELEN)

Okay.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I think you should start numbering them or something, just to make things easier.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

It just feels like that would be belittling to just put them as a number, you know? They have a name.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

You’re right. 37 Helens is much more efficient.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

It does take a little time.

SEAN

Darcy, you approach the door that you know is Mother Speckley’s chambers from your previous visits. It is closed.

MARISA

So I knock on the door.

SEAN

You hear a—

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Come in!

MARISA

And I open the door and walk through.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

We’re here!

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Oh. He’s still small.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, I don’t know if there’s anything you can do about that.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

I’ve been trying. I’ll keep working on it. Um, sorry—

SEAN

She clears off the cot.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

There’s really nowhere to sit. It’s a simple chamber.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

That’s okay.

SEAN

And she turns her one chair and you can see her desk is just full of papers and books.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Most of our books were destroyed. I have a couple that I carried with me. Just been doing some research.

It’s all a bit much, right? You know, coming back in time like this, if I am understanding correctly.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

You mean being stuck in a tiny dome for days on end and then having it crack open and a huge tree grow where it used to grow? That’s been too much for you?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

No, that part I’m good with. It’s the fact that we are thousands of years in the past…

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Oh yeah, that’s true.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Uh, okay. That part I’m still having trouble getting my head wrapped around.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, yeah, it’s a little difficult. Also, it appears that Morrigu is trying to take over Blat again, so I don’t know if you’re gonna help with that.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Oh no. There’s so much…

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh, and we saw Celene!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Oh yeah! We saw Celene. Totally forgot that.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

But this means I’m the First Mother!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

What?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

You’re not my first mother.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Our order is a secret order with all these rules and it all stems down from the First Mother. This means I’m the First Mother.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, maybe?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

It means I write all those books!

It’s a lot of pressure, that’s all.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, we understand pressure, but right now we could use some guidance from the First Mother.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

And a sandwich.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, I’m so sorry. We can get you food now that we’re not locked in a bubble with only seventeen loaves of bread that we were slowly eating all of.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It was a dome.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, a dome. Um, thank you for—

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It just seems if you’re gonna write all those books, it’s important that you have the information accurately.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, thank you, Eggerton.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

If you write “bubble”, people will get the wrong impression—

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, I’m just a little stressed—

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

—that you were floating around and you weren’t in a dome that we were carrying in the satchel.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

I take your note. Thank you.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Thank you for listening.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

(sighs)

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

See? Circle’s already starting again.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Good job, Eggerton. Good job.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

We invented circle…

Laughter.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Um, so… the research I’ve been doing is this means that we birthed Morrigu.

Distant thunder.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

That doesn’t sound like a good thing.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

It’s not.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I think I would remember birthing a goddess.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, I don’t think you birthed her, Eggerton.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I don’t think so either, because I’m smaller, but everything still is in its right position and shape.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

No. Yeah, I think us bringing the tree here and the temple recreating itself drew Morrigu to it.

Thunder.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh, we like reassembled her matter that had been spread out across the galaxy!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, that’s actually a pretty good way of putting it.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, we have established the ancient—one of the oldest places of power. The tree itself. We… birthed it. Again, I guess. I don’t know. It gets very muddled.

I don’t have much I can offer you in the way of guidance. This is all a lot.

There is a secret. A secret that we have held close that never made sense until now. I was trying to find it and I found the passage. I figure it might help you, because I know you said you are looking for keys…

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh yeah, I’m one of the keys.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, apparently Eggerton’s a key.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Are you sure about that?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, he’s small now, so he could fit in the door.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I could fit in the—

(gasps)

It’s all coming into a full circle, Darcy! Remember? Because I said, “I don’t think I’m going to fit in a door.” And then all that other stuff happened. But now I’m small and I could fit in the door. I’m the key!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yep, you’re the key, buddy.

(whispers to Mother Speckley)

You have to help us.

MIKE

(laughs)

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

I know. So you need three keys. And I guess he might be one of them.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Wait, does that mean that I, me, and Blat are the other two?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

I don’t think so. Here, look.

SEAN

And she pulls this book over.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

This is an ancient tale of an ancient artifact that’s listed as a key. A key of the… Nexi? If that makes sense?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, kind of.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Okay, and it basically never made sense because it said it is… It basically speaks of the Valley of the Lost Kings and the first fae stone being the place of this key. But the part that never made sense to us was it is “three days travel east from the tree that birthed itself”.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

So, from here!

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, that is what I’m now thinking. Again, I always thought it was just a riddle or something that we could take some… Like the key was a metaphorical, you know, key to unlocking your purpose or something like that. But what if it speaks of this tree? And what if this valley actually exists three days from here?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, I think we have to go and find out. Who’s this lost king?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

I’m not sure. I’m just… I only found out a day ago that I am ten thousand years or whatever in the past.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, I get it. It’s a lot to keep up with. But this might actually mean something. Then if we get this second key, we put it together with Eggerton… and maybe that helps us find the third key? I don’t know.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Maybe the second key is a small female fae.

(giggles)

MARISA (AS DARCY)

That’s not funny.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Sorry.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

No, it’s not funny.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Okay.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

And we also have to get Eggerton back to his normal size. How do we do that?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

I’m not sure. Whatever happened seems to have happened through Eggerton’s natural abilities. He has no aura of a spell around him.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I’m aura-less!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

He doesn’t have any natural abilities.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Look, I’m going to walk a mile in my own shoe.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Oh boy. You see what I have to live with now? Come on.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes. But I think you should take a few days before you go. We need to get you all healed up. Blat does not look good.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

No, it’s true. He’s doing pretty badly.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

And you must be careful because we should probably move him away from the tree because in his hurt state, if he were to drift off into delirium, I’m sure the goddess might take advantage of that.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, we can’t have that anymore. But what do you make of Celene appearing too? What’s going on with all these goddesses suddenly coming out?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Well, I don’t understand the connection to Celene. You know, the goddess of the moon… The moon has been around for a long time, so perhaps she has always existed. Morrigu, however, was one of the ancient ones—

Thunder.

SEAN

And the tree shakes.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

—I mean, the goddess was one of the ancient goddesses. We know very little about her, except now that we birthed her. It would make sense that she came with the tree because the tree is known to be her place of power.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, maybe since you’re the First Mother, you now have power over this ancient goddess. And who knows, maybe there’ll be a totally different relationship. And Morrigu might actually be a benevolent goddess of nature and warmth and everything will go differently, right?

Thunder.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Uh… Please? Just take a deep breath.

SEAN

And she throws a blanket over your head.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Your hair was on fire. Try not to say the M‑word, dear. There we go. You’re good.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Thank you. Ow.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

You’re just a little singed.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

A little singed, yeah.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Let’s get you outside. We’re setting up a camp just outside the tree. Maybe that’s far enough away that we can recuperate Blat and see to your wounds.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay, I definitely need to rest. It’s been a long day.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, for me too.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

I was a bird.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I got little!

SEAN

(laughs)

THE GODDESSES

SEAN

Blat, you are floating in blackness, but you are supported.

And you feel the hands of Celene caressing your hair. And you feel tendrils of black energy flowing all over you from Morrigu. And you hear both of their voices echoing.

Perhaps one of them is singing. Perhaps it’s Celene, an old nursery rhyme, as Morrigu whispers all the things that you could own, all the power you could have. And you’re being rocked softly… and you start to get the sense that you’re in a dream.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Ladies, ladies, this is all very nice, but I’m afraid this can’t happen. I know you both want me very much, but sorry, I’m uh… my eyes are upon another, as it were.

Besides, didn’t we defeat you once? Or, as Eggerton would say, will have defeated you in a future time?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Beware thwarting our power, little one.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

No, we will thwart your power. We will ultimately thwart your power. We’ve done it. And we’ll do it.

SEAN

Blackness is circling around your neck and starting to constrict and tighten.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

We will have you again. You will break. You need this.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

(choking)

I don’t know if I need this exactly…

Darcy’s voice echoes at first, but quickly becomes clear.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Hey Blat! Blat!

Blat! Blat! Hey, are you awake?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

(still half-choking)

Sorry—

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Are you awake? Is the mustard poultice working? Because it looks like Lazbo just smothered mustard all over your mouth.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Put me down on top of his head. I want to dance on his head.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

No, you’re not going on his head.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It would be so funny!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Just get a sandwich from someone else!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(mutters)

Okay, I’m going to go get a sandwich.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Get a sandwich.

Blat, how are you feeling? You’re looking a little rough there.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

(weakly)

Gotta go, Celene…

MARISA (AS DARCY)

What?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

(suddenly awakens and begins coughing)

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay, that’s the mustard. I think it’s just extra spicy.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Oh, Lord, I smell like a deli.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yep, yep.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

So, where are we? What are we?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, we’ve dragged you away from the tree into this encampment that Mother Speckley had set up because we figure that’ll be a less likely place for, you know, the goddess to take you over. So, we’re going to rest here for a bit, recuperate. I’m hoping Eggerton magically is going to get big again. And then we have to go, you know, three days’ journey and find the second key. Okay! So, how are you feeling?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

We have a three days’ journey to… where are we journeying to?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, you know, just the Valley of the Lost Kings. No biggie. No biggie. So…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Valley of the Lost King.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh, yeah, Kings, King. One of those. Could have been one, two. I’m not sure.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

You do realize where we were a few days ago, right?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

In the desert?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

With the Winnebaygios?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Didn’t Stan refer to himself as some sort of a… king?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh… I don’t know that that can be who we’re talking about because we already found the key that’s Eggerton that was related to him. You think he’d be related to all the keys?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

You’re right. Why should a gangster lie to us? Particularly one that’s in league with Celene.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, okay. Good point. Anyway, I’m going to get some rest. I’m really tired.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Yes. I guess I’m pretty pooped as well. At least we can camp for a bit, even if it is outside. What could possibly happen to us now?

Dennis (previously heard in “Inside the Snow Globe”) barges in.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

All right, are you in charge? Who’s in charge?! You in charge? You? You’re a human? Are you in charge?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh, who are you?

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

Who am I?! My name’s Dennis! And I was making a delivery… to these frog people in this tree!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, okay.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

And then I was told you can’t leave because there’s some sort of a dome! So I have been living with frog monsters in a tree for months, only eating the bread that I delivered.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

So you were like a hero.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

No, I’m a delivery guy, lady! And now I see that the dome’s gone, which is good, but then one of the frog people just explained to me—’cause I don’t have a job anymore, because we are, like, deep in the past. Like, so far into the past. Like, I am my own great-great-great-grandfather past.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, that’s true. Although I wish people would just stop telling people that.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

What the what, lady?! What am I supposed to do?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Oh, there you are, Dennis. Oh, Darcy, I hope he’s not having one of his episodes.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

No! I want to talk to a new person! I’ve been talking to frog people for months! I’m gonna talk to a human person!

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Okay, Dennis, but we don’t call them frog people, we call them the Slaad.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

You’re frog people!

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yeah, okay—

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

Okay, lady… You owe me a job, and you owe me a lot of future travelling—

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Darcy, um…

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

And a house? I’m gonna assume I don’t have a house anymore.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Is that Eggerton in the little shoe tin there? Can you…

Sir—Dennis—I’m gonna have you speak to Eggerton. Here, why don’t we wake him up? Why don’t you tap Eggerton there, Dennis?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Aa! Wha!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

I was kinda sorta seeing a woman named Claire, and I don’t even think she’s born yet, which is freaking me out.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

You know what, Dennis? We actually have a special person for you to speak to, the… uh, the fae in charge. General Eggerton here.

Darcy, can I see you outside?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh, sure—

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Hello there, Dennis.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

So you’re the… big man, who’s a little man.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yep!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

And you’re, um…

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

See, I’ve got this acorn hat. That means I’m a general.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

Or… a mouse from a fairy tale.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

No, I’m not a mouse. Look, I’ve got wings.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

…Like a mouse from a fairy tale.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

What fairy tales did you read?

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

What—? Fairy tales are made up stuff, and mice can have wings and wear acorns and crap. Look—

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

‘Kay, but I’m not a mouse.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

Can you get me back? Or forward? Or whatever this is?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I’ve got good news for you!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

What?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

You’re definitely going forward. It just may not be at the pace you want.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

You mean natural aging? Are you talking about natural aging.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

You see, time tends to be experienced on a linear path. We are currently on the left side of that path, and progressing slowly as the planet potentially rotates around a gas giant.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

Are you one of the people that I should be blaming for this? Are you the reason why I’m back here now?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh, oh—!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

I just wanted to deliver bread!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, where is Blat? I’ve got an R64 complaint form in one of his pockets. This is a perfect opportunity for some paperwork.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

What paperwork?!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It’s a complaint form!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

I was just told you’re the person in charge!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yes!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

You’re it! This all stops with you! You’re gonna tell me what I’m going to do!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

You’re going to fill out an R24—

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

No! You owe me a job, and a house, and… and a Claire! Can you get me a Claire?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I make some wonderful eclairs!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

No! I don’t—I work at a bakery. I know what an eclair is!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

You work at a bakery?!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

I did work at a bakery!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I love to bake!

Silence.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

So you bake.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I do!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

So you can get me a bakery job.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yes!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

Okay.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Now if there’s one small problem…

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

What’s that?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

There’s no bakeries!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

You just said you can bake!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I can!

OUTSIDE…

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Well, that sounds like it’s going well in there.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

You can’t do that. You can’t tell Eggerton he’s the general. Every time he hears that, he believes it more and more, and he starts to think that he’s the leader of everything. And sometimes that gets very problematic. So you shouldn’t really do that anymore.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

You’re right. I shouldn’t reinforce it. Though part of me does wonder, does it really need any reinforcement for him to believe something like that?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

I feel like we need to de-enforce it. Start maybe stripping it away.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, you’re right.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Because he fell out of a tree three times. And that’s not what leaders do.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Well, you know, leadership is really about how you respond to what happens.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

He fell to the ground at great speed, if I hadn’t saved him twice.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Well, okay, I hear your note. But I did get you out of there.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, no, I appreciate that. That guy was a little coo-coo, but then again, heh, he does have a point.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

We’re all a little coo-coo right now.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, exactly.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

So I think Blat is good to travel. I haven’t been able to do anything about Eggerton’s little problem. It seems to be something he’s chosen or is in control of, maybe. Or maybe this is just Eggerton now.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

The problem is, we do so much metaphorical carrying of Eggerton that now having to physically carry him everywhere as well, that’s going to really put a dent in our ability to achieve things.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

You know, I do offer counselling services. It sounds like you have some things you really need to talk about regarding Eggerton.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, yes, but I think if I start I might never stop. And we do have to get going on this journey. Although I don’t really know what these keys are going to accomplish. I mean, maybe Moira’s just sending us on a wild goose chase. I don’t know if any of it’s going to be real in the end because as we keep asking ourselves, “How is Eggerton a key? What does that even mean? I don’t know!”

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Well, you did just birth a goddess in a place of power. That’s something.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

A goddess who wants to take over my friend and possibly inflict evil on the world all over again.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes, but a goddess you defeated—we defeated.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

It just feels like we’re treading water. We’re just doing the same thing over and over again. You know what I mean? Have you ever felt that way?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Oh, every day.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

I just found out I’m my own great, great, great, great, great, great, great-grandmother.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, that’s got to mess with you.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yeah.

I prepared some food. You’re welcome to take some of the Slaad as guides. Not that they have any idea where you’re going or how to get there.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, Lazbo’s always been a good companion. If he’s willing to come along, we’ll take him.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

He’s already packed up and ready to go.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Excellent.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

So I’ll go in and take Dennis and get him back to the tree. If you need anything, please let me know.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay. Thanks.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yeah.

Oh, Dennis!

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

(only marginally less freaked out)

All right. The little dude doesn’t know anything—

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yeah, no. Just talk with me and walk.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

There’s no bakery…

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yeah, yeah.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

And why is there sand around the tree? There was no sand before.

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

There was not. We’re going to talk and walk. Walk and talk with me, Dennis. Yes. Maybe we need to start a bakery. I’ve been thinking, if the Slaad could really use a job.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

We could start a bakery?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

Yes. I’m pretty sure we could manage that.

Their voices fade into the distance.

CARTER (AS DENNIS)

Does everything have to have mustard in it?

SEAN (AS MOTHER SPECKLEY)

No. I think we could finally…

MIDROLL ANNOUNCEMENTS

Music sting.

ELI

It’s the beginning of the middle of The End of Time and Other Bothers.

SEAN

Hi, friends. Welcome to the middle.

I just want to say that it’s crazy right now, and I just want you to take a second right now and just recognize that you matter. And it’s okay. Everything’s okay that we’re feeling. That’s all we can do right now is just take a deep breath and give ourselves a break.

And it’s time for me to do that. Take my own medicine and give some shout outs to all of you amazing people who have been with us for so long.

I am still working through the backlog, the oldies and the goodies. So without further ado, I want to give all my love to these next ten names that I’m going to give out. So please join me in saying thank you to: David Freeman, Laura Allport, Evidence Based Radio in the house! Angie, and Matthew Belanger, a dear friend and improviser. Thank you, Matthew. Timothy LeGrone, Russ Moore—whoa, what’s he doing in here? Hello, get your own show! (He has his own show. It’s Dumbgeons!) Kathi Sindelar—Kathi! Kathi, I finally get to shout you out! And Jeff Van Dreason. Oh, Jeff! You are so sweet. Thank you.

Jeff Van Dreason is one of the creators of Greater Boston. Thank you, Jeff.

And finally, but not least, Nick Adkins.

Thank you all for being with us. We really appreciate your support. And I’m getting there. I’m working my way through the list. And soon we’ll be able to catch up and start giving the new names.

I think we have something else coming up. Talk to you all—oh! I almost forgot. Eli and I and all of the cast want to wish you a happy holidays.

Music sting.

MIDROLL: ZOMBIE REVERSE MORTGAGES

SEAN (AS STAN)

Hey, thank you all for coming. Sit down—not you, Tony. You’re a little big, you know? Just stand right there.

I need some help. I’m trying to come up with a new product, you know, a new mortgage. But here’s the thing. I want to not have to put any money down. And I want to take all the money out of the asset right off the top. And keep someone hooked forever.

MIKE (AS ANOTHER ZOMBIE)

Well, yeah. Did you look at, you know, selling the asset and then just taking the money that way?

SEAN (AS STAN)

I like it. I like it… But I want something, you know, it’s like easy for someone who doesn’t have an asset yet, right? Like I need, you know, we got to get someone hooked, right? You know, sign on the dotted line. And then I got them on the hook, right?

MIKE (AS ANOTHER ZOMBIE)

Right, right.

SEAN (AS STAN)

So, yeah, good idea. But I don’t want to sell. It’s too much work.

MIKE (AS ANOTHER ZOMBIE)

What if we just get someone to have a job?

SEAN (AS STAN)

Yeah, well, have you taken a look outside? Like, let me open the door. Let’s look at all the jobs out there.

MIKE (AS ANOTHER ZOMBIE)

That’s a lot of zombies and not a lot of jobs. You’re right.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Yeah, that’s my point. I’m looking, I need someone else with an idea. Yeah, I need a product. Like, insurance or a mortgage? Where we get all the money right away.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

Zombie. Reverse. Mortgage.

SEAN (AS STAN)

I love it. Keep talking, George.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

Okay. You’re a person.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Yeah. Wait—

MIKE (AS EGGERTON)

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I’m not. I was a person.

SEAN (AS STAN)

I’m trying. Give me a sec… OK, I’m going to be a little more stupid. I’m going to, you know, keep my brains inside my head and I’m going to drink. I’m going to hold a coffee cup. Got it. Go.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

You live in a house.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Hold it. You mean like, like this, like a trailer? Or you mean like a real house?

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

It could be a trailer. Probably a real house.

MIKE (AS ANOTHER ZOMBIE)

Do I have any orange juice?

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

You probably have orange juice. They like that sort of thing.

MIKE (AS ANOTHER ZOMBIE)

All right. All right.

SEAN (AS STAN)

All right. We’re there, go.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

You live in your house for like, a human amount of time, till like, you’re eighty.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Right…

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

Now you want money for your old age.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

So the reverse mortgage.

SEAN (AS STAN)

The reverse zombie mortgage.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

You got a person.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Yeah.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

Buys your house.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Yeah.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

Gives you money for your zombie life after you’re eighty.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Yeah, we kill ‘th’em and make ’em a zombie!

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

Then the zombie gets some money every month from the reverse mortgage. And then when they’re wandering around during the zombie apocalypse doing zombie things, they’re still making money every month.

MIKE (AS ANOTHER ZOMBIE)

Fluid income even after life.

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

That’s right. And what’s good is that if you’re a zombie, you could live for hundreds of years. You’re making like ten thousand times more money in monthly payments than what your original house was worth back when you was just a human.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Sign me up. I’m going to take a thousand of these right now today.

And you can too, if you go to OtherBothers.com and click on Support in the nav! Or if you’re really a Dumbo, click on the giant BECOME A PATRON link.

MIKE (AS ANOTHER ZOMBIE)

Wait, wait. Are we going to make people zombies?

CARTER (AS GEORGE THE ZOMBIE)

No, wait, I just did the math. Actually, we’re going to lose our shirts on this.

SEAN (AS STAN)

Forget it! Don’t go to the—I’ll kill you if you go to that site!

MIKE

Can zombies be both from Philadelphia and New York at the same time? Because I feel like that’s what my accent was doing.

SEAN

I love it.

MARISA

Also, I don’t think you know what a reverse mortgage is.

Laughter.

MIKE

I know.

Music sting.

THE DESERT

SEAN

The party is just cresting a dune in the midday sun, and the heat is so palpable you can taste and hear it.

They pause, Darcy standing with sweat dripping down her face and Blat with his shirt tied around his head, looking quite happy in this heat. And the Slaad Lazbo crests the hill with a tiny little Eggerton riding on his shoulder.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Well, sure… we’re trapped in the past and goddesses are back seeking revenge. But we couldn’t ask for better weather, huh?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

(groans)

CARTER (AS BLAT)

That’s right. Drink it in.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

So what I’m saying is that we could use the sand as a base to make a fairy cake.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oh, yeah, okay. I think I see what you’re saying. But wouldn’t it be gritty?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Maybe it’s a little crunchy. Right? Did you ever get crunchy pleather butter?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

No.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

No, you never had it? Well, it’s similar to that. It’s kind of intentionally crunchy.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay. I was just wondering if maybe we should try something else that might have, like, some other property than sand.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Well, there’s a lot of sand around.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

That’s a good point.

Oh, we’re stopping. Sorry, didn’t mean to bump into you, Darcy. We were in a deep conversation about baking.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, that’s no surprise. Lazbo, can I have the canteen, please?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Um, well, I’m afraid it’s empty.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

How can it be empty?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I get thirsty on the road.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Eggerton, you don’t need to drink anything.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Well, you told me not to let him drink, but he said he just wanted to take a little dip, like a little swim in it. And… and then he drank it.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

But he’s tiny. How much could he drink?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

It was amazing how big his stomach expanded. Like, I couldn’t get him out of the canteen for most of the day.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

I have to drink something. Blat, give me some of your canteen.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Well, um, I’ve actually been using mine as a bit of a lubricant. You know, you don’t want the old wings to get scaly!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Ugh. So, great, we now just have to find an oasis. You know, just some water in the desert. That’s no problem. Not at all.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I think we could maybe try finding a cactus and getting water from it.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Ah! scientific. Very good, Lazbo.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oh, thank you. Oh, maybe we could use a cactus to bake with.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

A cactus would be such a nice, sweet moisture to add into a mixture. It could be a whole new line of fairy cakes!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay, well, let’s keep an eye out for cactuses.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Cacti.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Cacti. Oh. Is it cacti or is it cactuseses?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Cactis?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Cactis? I like cactis.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It’s cactis.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I like cactis.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

So what do you think is going to await us in the Valley of the Lost King or whatever?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Probably some lost kings.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

But… then they wouldn’t be lost because they’re there, in that—

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

If they’re there, they don’t know where they are. We know where they are. So we’re the discoverers of lost kings who were lost to themselves but not to others.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Well, we don’t really know where they are because I was just told, just keep going east until you find it. I’ve never been there and there’s really no maps of it because we’re sort of, you know, many thousands of years in the past.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

So from your era, you don’t remember a time when there was a Valley of the Lost Kings?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Well, some of our scientists believe that the plates of the planet moved many, many millennia ago. So it seems we might be in a different place now. But also, the tree never was in a desert. So this would have had to have been maybe before major climate change, when then the tree would become a lush forest like it is today. But I’m just speculating, you know.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Did you hear that, everybody? Major climate change. That’ll be something to look forward to.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, this is… this is all so great. So good.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Does anyone else—maybe it’s a mirage? I feel like I’m seeing green up ahead over the next dune, which is a little strange because we’re in a desert.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Maybe some other future morons planted a mystical tree in the desert here as well!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, that would really help us out. There’d probably be water at least.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

And maybe one of them are really tiny.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, you know, I’d give anything to meet some other morons right now.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Let’s meet some morons!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Well, I thought we were just going to go up towards what looks like that green…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

That’s what we meant. We’re walking towards the green thing. Maybe there’s people there that are like us.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Right. Okay.

Okay, I’m just going to walk in that direction.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Oookay.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Do they always have such low self-esteem there, Mr. Eggs?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

They do. It’s something that I’m working on with them. But it’s very hard to get through to.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Yeah, because they’ve done a lot. You know, they’ve accomplished a lot.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

And you know, I think my intelligence intimidates them, and makes them feel a little lesser than? And my rank.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

You know, you do throw it around a widow, you might think about that. You might think about holding it back a little.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

You think I’m being too much of an elite intellectual?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Yeah, you might want to pull it back a little when you’re near them, you know? Because not everyone can make the leaps you do about baking.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It’s true. It is a special skill.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Yeah, okay.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

All right.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Glad we have this talk.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Me too. Good circle.

Soft, chiming harp music, and the sound of a rushing stream, growing slowly louder.

SEAN

You climb up the next dune and you see… a forest. The sand just peters out and you see dead trees growing into living trees, growing into a whole forest. And what appears to be a giant valley opening up in front of you.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Found it!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Yes, thank you, oh great explorer. You found the humongous thing in front of us.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

See, I didn’t even say anything and they’re already talking about how great I am.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Yeah, well, I think it’s important that you, you know, recognize that but not say it out loud. It might make them feel bad.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Well, thank you, Blat, for your contributions to this adventure as well. They are noted and appreciated.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

That was very nicely done.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I thought so.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Oh great, a stream. Oh, thank Loxsyn.

Okay, I’m just gonna—Lazbo, give me your canteen. I’m just gonna fill it up.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

With the exit in it or not?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

No, no, I want the canteen and I will hold on to the canteen now.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

And you all may ask me for water.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I think that’s okay.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

You may want to dump that out before you fill it. I was in there for a while.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

All right, washing it out first…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Are you sure you don’t want to keep him in the canteen when you fill it?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

All right, I’m ready. I’m ready. I’ve got some water. Okay, that’s better.

SEAN

Eggerton, you’re having a strange emotion flow over you. It’s as if you’re hearing a song that doesn’t have words that you know, but you’ve never heard.

And you’re being pulled, almost. And it takes a moment to realize what it is because you haven’t felt it in so long.

But you’re feeling a loo line—perhaps the first one in existence.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Wait, wait, party hold! There’s something out there…

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

We’re already holding.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Well, yeah, but I just wanted to make it official.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yeah, there’s something out there.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, it’s trees.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

No, there’s something below, well, something in there. It is the trees, but it’s in everything. It’s below everything.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay…? What are you talking about?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

So, it’s hard for a human to understand, but everything’s connected. And there’s these lines and I can kind of, they feel good when I’m near them. And we’re getting near one. It’s been a long time since I found one!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay, so where do you want us to go?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, okay, okay… Lazbo… that way!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay, here we go. This way?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Yeah. Like this.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

This high? Want me to get down lower?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

We can stay like this. Thank you. I appreciate the consideration, though, for my feelings on the matter.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

You’re welcome.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Thank you.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

So the great Commander Walnut, in a shoe, is going to tell us where we need to go.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It’s an acorn.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Fantastic.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

We seem to be heading towards that big clearing.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I think that’s it, that’s it, that’s it—Okay, put me down! Put me down, put me down.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay, I’m putting you down! Okay, there you go. You want to stay in the shoe?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

No, no, no, no, get me out of the shoe.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay, here you go.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay, but watch out for predators! You’re really small now.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Like a groundhog or possibly an ant.

MIKE

Eggerton takes off running towards the clearing.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oh, uh, let’s keep up! It won’t be hard.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

No, I’m just walking normally.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(panting)

Look, look, look!

SEAN

Eggerton, you enter a big field and you just sense—you can see all the energy flowing into this one, what looks like a beautiful stone in the centre of the field… except there is no stone.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

What?

SEAN

It takes a moment for your brain to realize it’s all in the shape of a fae stone, but there is no fae stone, but all the energy is pouring into that location.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, okay, okay, does everyone see this?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Yes, I see a field, and some little red flowers, and some little blue flowers, and I think I might have seen like, some fox droppings?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, you’re standing in the fox droppings, Eggerton.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh. Blat, come here.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

What—what am I—

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I’m just going to wipe that off your shoe—

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Oh, come on! What the what? Just don’t step in it.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, look at the clearing. Do you see the stone?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

There is no stone here.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I see a pebble.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

There’s a—it’s not—well, I like pebbles. Did you know that a pebble is actually how we freed you? Have we told you that story yet?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Focus, Eggerton, focus.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I love this story so much.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, so I went looking for pebbles.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I was holding up a sign!

MARISA AND CARTER (AS DARCY AND BLAT)

No, no, no, no, no, no. Stop.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

There’s no rock. You asked if we could see a rock. There’s no rock.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, wait, wait, wait, it’s not a rock, it’s a stone. Okay, I think I understand.

All of the energy is coming into this one spot, and I think the potential of a stone is there, but it’s not there yet.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

The potential for a stone is there?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

The potential for a stone. Remember when I said we will have had done something?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Uh-huh?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Same thing, but with a stone and the energy and the magic.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

See, this is—I told Mother Speckley that she was getting into his head, and it was getting bigger and bigger, and the ego was getting bigger and bigger, and now I think he thinks he can create things from just nothing, because he’s the general, and now I think he thinks he’s kind of the general of everything.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

So, Eggsy, what you’re saying then is, you believe we’ve come back through time, twice… to move a rock to a specific spot.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

No, the rock’s already there, just not now.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

The hell does that even mean?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

The rock will be there.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Well, can’t we wait and come back when it’s here?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I don’t know. I’m going to go for a closer look.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

At the rock that isn’t there. Great!

MIKE

And I walk forward.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

So I stay back here?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

You stay with them. It’s fine.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Okay.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Is he okay?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Probably not. I mean, can’t we just move a rock there, then? Can’t we just do that then and that’ll shut him up?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

I don’t know. He seems to be, like—look what his arms are doing. It’s like he’s conducting or something like that. Let’s just let him work this out for a few minutes. But, you know, watch out for bunnies or anyone else who might attack him.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Yeah, I’ll watch for bunnies. They can be nasty.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(in the distance)

Was that a female eagle?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

(shouts)

Can’t tell. Can’t tell from down here.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I don’t think there’s any such thing as a female eagle.

LATER

The dreamy music from earlier returns.

SEAN

It’s now nightfall. The light is quickly dwindling.

Blat is sitting in the field, ripping flowers up one by one. Darcy is leaning half against a tree on the edge of the field, half asleep. And Lazbo is just sitting and watching as Eggsy is still waving his hands in the air in front of something no one can see but him.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It’s almost there. It’s almost there…!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

(sleepily)

Lazbo, do you remember those flying alligators? Those were crazy.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oh, yeah! Wow, that was such a long time ago. I mean… a long time forward. Well, a long time ago in the future. I don’t—it’s very confusing.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

It’s a little confusing. Not as confusing as those alligators, but it is confusing. I wouldn’t worry yourself too much. It’ll all work out or that’s what I’ve told myself lately just to get through this all with some kind of sanity intact.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Well—wait. For a second. I thought I saw a stone.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

What? Where?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I don’t see it now, but—

MARISA (AS DARCY)

(shouts)

Eggerton, are you done yet?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It’s almost here!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Now he’s just kind of creeping me out.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Well, I don’t understand the big deal. Like, I can find a rock. You walk three feet any direction, you’re going to find a rock. Can’t we just put a rock down and be done with it?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Look, if you blink your eyes really fast, every once in a while you see the stone there.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh… I can’t say I’m seeing anything.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

No, I think the trick is, you have to like kinda look through it.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Yeah like, unfocus your eyes and blink them really fast.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Like, open your eyes really wide and then don’t really focus on anything?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh-huh?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

And then you just sort of let it happen—ah!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

No, no, no. Go from the—look away towards the trees, you know, out of the side of your eye where you’re not really looking?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Oh, not really looking at it face on? Okay. So peripherally…

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

There! Look—oh, it’s gone again.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh… no, I just see Eggerton doing some strange thing with his hands.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Oh, God, does he have to bend over so much? That leaf is not covering everything.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

I find it sort of attractive, you know, and well, um, yeah, so, um… I’m not sure how long this is going to take.

Uh, Eggsy, do you need anything?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It’s almost ready! It’s almost ready! I can feel it. It’s coming! Tying them all together… I’m going to put this one here and that one goes to there… I can feel it working. And…

The harp sounds build to a sudden crescendo and fade.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

There!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Um… does everyone else see a rock?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

I do see a rock.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Okay, he—he dragged that there, right?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

But how could he have done that? He’s so small.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

We were looking the whole time! Look how big that rock is. It’s massive.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Oh, I know. I was falling asleep, so I’m in a dream. That’s what’s happening.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oh, maybe I am too.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Are you in the same dream?

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Let’s all pinch each other. Here.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Okay—ow! Ooh, you have long nails, Lazbo!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Oh, sorry. I—yeah.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Ah! Lord in heaven!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Someone do me.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Ugh. Here.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Well, come on. Like, really pinch me.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Okay. Here!

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Nghh—oww!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

All right.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

No, I still see it.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

I can’t believe it. He made that big rock.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, come here. Come here! Everyone come over. Everyone come over.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

So we’re taking orders now from a naked guy in the woods who’s waving his arms around for hours at a time.

SEAN (AS LAZBO)

Well, he is the general.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, I can’t make a rock appear, I gotta say.

Hey, okay. All right. We see it. What is this?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

This… is the fae stone!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Oh! We’ve seen these before.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In our time, these things are scattered all over the place, right?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

But they’re not here! I haven’t felt one since we left.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Wait a minute. Please, please don’t tell me that you just created the first fae stone.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Um…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.

If he created the first fae stone, doesn’t that kind of mean that—

SEAN

There’s a popping sound and Peri appears.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Peri!

SEAN (AS PERI)

Eggsy!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

How are you doing?

SEAN (AS PERI)

I’m doing pretty good. Whoa ho ho! You’re—! Wait, let me get down to your size.

Pop!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh, there you are! How’d you do that?

SEAN (AS PERI)

(laughs)

It’s what we can do!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

We can?

SEAN (AS PERI)

Well, you clearly did it.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Well, I did, but I was falling.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

There was something in that stream water I drank.

SEAN (AS PERI)

Falling for me…?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Always. But I also fell out of a tree.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I didn’t have any stream water.

SEAN (AS PERI)

Metaphorically, or…

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I literally fell out of a tree.

SEAN (AS PERI)

Omigod!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

And then I woke up in my shoe and I was this size.

SEAN (AS PERI)

Well… it seems that—it seems you’ve created the first fae stone!

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Doh!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Sure does!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Okay now—wait. Peri, how are you even here?! We’re so far in the past. How did you get here?

SEAN (AS PERI)

(bashful)

Well, you know… I wasn’t sure, but, you know, when we felt the first fae stone being created, you know, we had to pick who’s going to work with Eggerton to make all the fae. And I thought… I said, “Maybe me?”

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Okay, just a second. Come here, come here, c’mere, c’mere, c’mere, c’mere.

Okay. So I’m going to need you just to not freak out, all right?

So I, literally twenty seconds ago, was speculating that maybe Eggsy was the first fae.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Uh-huh.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

And now somehow through some magic fae witchery-do, Peri’s come back.

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

And now she wants Eggsy to…

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Yeah, I get it.

He is going to become the most insufferable Eggerton we have ever had to deal with. He is going to be the first fae, and all the faes will be little Eggerton faes. And I don’t know if I can live in a world with that.

So what we have to work on… is not talking about this ever again, so that he starts to forget that he is the first fae.

I think we should even take his acorn hat.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I’m sorry, but I just—I may just agree to team up with the M‑goddess if this becomes a thing, because I can’t…

MARISA (AS DARCY)

Hey, Eggerton! So… um, I’m sure this happens in a lot of timelines. I’m sure that there’s always some kind of messed up thing where you think you started creation! “Look at me, ha ha! I’m a god unto gods!”

So I wouldn’t take this too seriously. I’d just go along with the little game that you two seem to be playing. Nothing too serious, right? Ha ha ha.

The music shifts, turning bouncy and playful.

SEAN (AS PERI)

I don’t know… Love isn’t very serious, I guess. Is it? Eggsy?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It can be!

SEAN (AS PERI)

Really?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

This could be the start of something wonderful.

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I’m going to dedicate the rest of my life to find one other fae. There’s got to be one other fae living in this timeline. Anybody. Anybody at all. Even if he’s super old or stupid or, or something.

SEAN (AS PERI)

Maybe we could do the… the holding-hands ceremony?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(gasps)

The ceremony?

SEAN (AS PERI)

Yeah!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

(giggles)

Well, you know, that’s very exciting…

SEAN (AS PERI)

If it’s not going too fast! You know… it’s sort of going straight to fourth base.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I know. But seeing as how we just connected two dimensions and… I’m pretty sure that I’m a key that’s supposed to go into this lock here—

SEAN (AS PERI)

No, silly!

(giggles)

You know, this is just, you know, you and me, maybe…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

I can’t even tell if they’re speaking metaphorically now.

SEAN (AS PERI)

…birthing all the fae.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Ohh!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

Is this something that we should be present to? I… I don’t know.

SEAN (AS PERI)

If you want to hold hands with me, that is…?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Do you have an RSP?

SEAN (AS PERI)

Yeah?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

I need to look forward to the future for my baby fae if I’m going to be a mother.

SEAN (AS PERI)

We’re just going to birth them!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh! Okay!

SEAN (AS PERI)

(giggles)

You know?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

All right, let’s hold hands then!

SEAN (AS PERI)

Oh, that’s pretty fast!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Well, you’re the one who suggested it.

SEAN (AS PERI)

I know, I know! I didn’t think you’d take it so quickly…

CARTER (AS BLAT)

All right, that’s it. I’m going to bash my brains in with this giant fae stone.

SEAN (AS PERI)

It’s a big step, you know?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay, what if we just rub noses?

SEAN (AS PERI)

No, let’s do it! Hold hands. Ready?

SEAN AND MIKE (AS PERI AND EGGERTON)

One,—two—three!

Peri and Eggerton scream in delight as the music swells. A huge burst of magic, followed by tiny popping sounds as dozens of tiny fae spring into existence, laughing and giggling.

The music kicks into a higher gear and all the newborn fae begin singing along.

SEAN (AS PERI)

Was that good for you?

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

It was delightful!

THE CAST (AS THE NEW FAE)

Whee!

Yay!

Every day is Saturday!

Let’s go explore!

We have to invent clothing!

SEAN (AS PERI)

Thank you… I have to go!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Oh, so soon?

SEAN (AS PERI)

Well, I’ll see you soon…

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Okay…

SEAN (AS PERI)

Bye!

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

Bye!

SEAN (AS PERI)

Bye Darcy! Bye—um, I forgot your name!

CARTER (AS BLAT)

(averting his eyes)

Yeah, yeah, it’s fine, great, goodbye.

SEAN (AS PERI)

Bye!

Peri disappears with a pop.

MIKE (AS TINY EGGERTON)

So how’s things over here?

MARISA (AS DARCY)

(shell-shocked)

What just happened?

CARTER (AS BLAT)

OH MY GOD.

SEAN

(laughing)

Scene.

The new fae go on cavorting and singing.

CREDITS

ANNOUNCER

The End of Time and Other Bothers, with your Game Master Sean Howard, and players Carter Siddall, Michael Howie, and Marisa King.

Dialogue editing by Michael Howie. Transcription by Michael Howie and Marisa King. Music and sound design by Eli Hamada McIlveen. Story consultant: Laura Packer. Game consultant: Stephen Smith. Supporting producers: Kona, Lillianne Johnston, Kim Bellinger, and Becky Arenivar.

If you enjoy the show, check out our Patreon. Supporters get early access to episodes, weekly bonus content, and an invite to our wonderful fan community on Discord. Look for the Patreon link at OtherBothers.com.

OUTTAKE: IMPROVISING

MIKE

…So now what happens?

MARISA

(laughs)

MIKE

I want to find out!

CARTER

Ah, a gifted improviser to the end.

Laughter.

CARTER

“Then what do I do, guys? I didn’t want to overstep and come up with something.”